A Whole New World
by oncethrown
Summary: A night in New York and a chance meeting with an old friend make Topanga question her entire past. Meanwhile, Cory's last night in Philidelphia is tearing him apart. Alternate Series Ending.
1. We Used To Be Friends

"Nebbie, I really can't thank you enough for letting Cory and I sublet your apartment," Topanga told her sister.

"Hey," Nebula said waving a hand casually, "Don't worry about it. It's the least I can do," She shook back her mane of brown bushy hair, "Let's face it, I haven't been a very good sister,"

Topanga scoffed but Nebula interrupted, "No, Topanga. It's true. I've barely seen you since I went to 've talked what? Three times in the last 8 years? I couldn't even make it to your wedding! I didn't know about this law firm thing until you called me about the apartment."

"No one did. It was really sudden," Topanga said hastily, and then her tone became warmer, "But I'm so excited about this."

"Good for you, it certainly sounds impressive."

"It's not just that. It's," she sighed "It's nice to feel like I accomplished something. I miss that feeling of being "the best" you know?"

"Mom told me you were like, top in your class or whatever at Pennbrooke," Nebula said playing idly with the string of beads around her neck.

"Well, yeah, but I.." Topanga sighed again, fiddling with her coffe mug "I just don't have to work that hard for that. It's not the challenge I was looking for." Topanga shrugged uncomfortably.

"You must be excited about NYU then," Nebula said inanely. She tried not to let her frustration show in her voice. She didn't know what to talk about with her own sister! That's why she had taken her out to this coffee bar, so they could talk for a while. Nebula felt like she had to still know Topanga on some level, but it was true! She didn't know her sister anymore. Topanga had gone from a unique individual to well... Mrs. Cory Matthews.

In the week Nebula had spent with her little sister she hadn't really heard her say anything about herself, unless it was about this internship. Which she still couldn't believe. A Lawrence a lawyer? Jedidiah must be going out of his head! And how hadn't Chloe convinced her not to get married right out of highschool? Aunt Prudence didn't have her sister's free spirited or die hard devotion to what Chloe had always refered to as "women's lib", but you'd think that she would have said something about her brilliant, talented niece choosing her boyfriend over Yale.

Topanga's face lit up, "I really am. The class sizes are a lot bigger than what I'm used to and, honestly I'm going to spend at least the first semester expecting Mr. Feeny to pop up behind me" She laughed to herself, "But it looks great, except.." she trailed off a little anxiously.

"What?"

"I'm not sure if Cory will like it," She admitted.

Nebula nodded unsurely. She had never met this Cory Matthew's guy and he wasn't even getting here until tommorow, hours after her flight to Paraguay left. She was really dissapointed about that. She thought if she could meet him she might be able to make sense of what had actually happened to Topanga. It wasn't that Nebula was too cynical to believe that her sister had truly fallen in love, it was just that, there was... _something_ in Topanga's voice that didn't sound right. Nebula couldn't put her finger on what it was. Topanga had admitted that she wasn't happy at Pennbrooke, but there was more. Nebula had picked up on some of the things that Topanga wasn't saying.

Her sister didn't have her own friends. Hadn't for years. She dated and then married Cory and she hung around with his best friend, this Shawn character, and then eventually had become good friends with Shawn's girlfriend Angela. Her other friends were Cory's brother's roomates, Rachel and Jack, and Jack was also Shawn's brother. She didn't know anyone she wouldn't have known without Cory. No one from class, no one from work, no one else. And there was something else...

"Tell me about your book though," Topanga said suddenly as though she too was digging for topics they could discuss.

Nebula surfaced from her thoughts and launched into a explanation about what she was doing and where she was staying, relieved to have something to talk about. Nebula had was a journalist and photographer. She had been commissioned to go Paraguay and prepare a coffee table book about the sites. As she rattled off the cities she was going to visit she eyed a handsome young man heading hesitantly toward thier table. He was tall, blonde with finely carved features and wearing a casual blue striped button down shirt and a pair of wireless glasses. He stopped behind Topanga and laid a careful hand on her shoulder. She spun around in surprise.

"Excuse me?" the young man's voice was deep, with a richness that Nebula usually associated with older men.

"Hi," Topanga said curiously, she was pretty sure she knew this person, but for the life of her couldn't figure out why he should be familiar.

"Hi," He smiled, "I don't suppose-"

The memory surface suddenly and unexpectedly like a body coming to the surface of a calm river "Stewart!" Topanga cried and stood to hug him.

"I wasn't sure if it was you!" he laughed, "Gosh, you've changed so much. But no one else could be that beautiful," he grinned. Topanga blushed.

"This is my sister, Nebula" Topanga introduced her hurriedly, "Nebbie this is Stewart Minkus, a friend from Junior High" Nebula waved casually and Topanga turned back to Stewart, "Look at you, you're so...tall."

Stewart laughed "Thanks, Thanks."

"So, gosh, what have you been up to? What happened to you?"

"I, uh, went to a private highschool in Philidelphia for a year before my father got transferred to LA and then when college rolled around I just had to go back East. I'm a sophmore at NYU now. Just declared. Japanese and International Studies double major."

"I'm transferring to NYU next semester!" Topanga said.

"From Yale?" Stewart asked

"Oh, no. I stayed in Philidelphia," Topanga said in a slightly detached voice.

"Oh," Stewart seemed embarrased, "Well, I'm here with a group of friends from NYU if you and your sister wanted to join us. We could tell you all about it,"

"That would be fantastic!" Topanga said,"Nebbie do you mind?"

"Don't worry about it," Nebbie faked a yawn, "I'm going to go home and turn in. Some of us have an early flight to in the morning"

"Oh? Where are you going?" Stewart asked. His tone was interested but his eyes stayed on Topanga.

"Paraguay," Nebula said, "I'm working on a book. It was nice meeting you," She shook his hand, and then hugged Topanga, "It was nice to see you, give me a call, don't be a stranger anymore."

"Thanks Nebbie. Wake me up to say goodbye tommorow." Topanga said patting her sister on the back uncomfortably.

As soon as Nebula turned around Topanga's focus went right back to Stewart and Nebula couldn't quite surpress a smirk. She didn't think she would be the one waking Topanga up in the morning.


	2. This Is How You Remind Me

Cory climbed into his dad's car, adjusted the seat, tugged the mirror into place, pulled on his seat belt and smoothed a wayward eyebrow, telling himself all the while that no one suspected. He was staying at his best friends empty apartment to say goodbye the night before he moved to New York for the rest of his life. There was nothing weird about that. Topanga was in New York with her sister, Angela was in Europe with her father, Jack and Rachel were probably on their flight to Nigeria and a new life in the Peace Corp by now and Eric was staying the night in Boston where he had dropped them off at the airport. There was no one to walk in on an inopportune moment. It was going to be the first risk free night they'd had since they shared a dorm room before Cory got married. And even then they had been scared someone would find out if they weren't really quiet.

Cory took a deep breath and backed out of the garage, trying to concentrate on having an uninterrupted, no worries night with Shawn, and trying to avoid thinking about the fact that tomorrow he would be in his and Topanga's new apartment in New York. Or about how Shawn coming all the way to New York, or him going all the way back to Philadelphia would make people suspect. Or about how nearly impossible it would be for he and Shawn to sneak off together if they did visit. Just sneaking off in the last few months had been nearly impossible. Stolen kisses and quick hand squeezes in dark movie theaters and sometimes dark corners were as much as they had been able to hide recently.

"God bless being the only two with late finals," Cory sighed to himself as he pulled out of the driveway and glanced at the tree house. A shiver ran down his spine as he cruised down the street.

The tree house.

They'd been 16, giggling away in the tree house, putting together the high school newspaper article to end all high school news articles.

"Chick Like Me. We are so brilliant," Cory crowed scribbling in his note book as fast as he could. Shawn sat next to him leaning against the wall of the tree house, grinning.

"I can't believe it worked, " Shawn laughed, "I mean, I didn't think I was that convincing a girl."

"Oh yeah? Take a look at those babies," Cory slapped an envelope of pictures on Shawn's leg. Shawn started flipping through them.

"These are all of me?"

"Yeah, Cora took them," Cory said in a gravely smokers voice, grinning proudly. He had been the worst woman who had ever lived, but he couldn't just let Shawn go off on a date with that guy. It was his column after all.

"Hey pick a couple out for the article. This is front page material my Shawn!"

Shawn finished going through the pictures, and then separated them into piles. Cory stopped at the end of a likely looking sentence, grabbed the pile next to him and looked at the picture on the top.

"Wow," Cory said.

"What?" Shawn asked looking up from the stack of pictures he was going through again.

"Look at you," Cory said, handing the picture to Shawn.

Shawn wrinkled his nose, "Don't tell me you want to put this one in the paper Cor,"

"Why not? You look beautiful."

Shawn laughed and rolled his eyes, "Thanks"

Cory looked at the picture again.

"Isn't it weird how pictures can look nothing like you?" Shawn asked watching Cory carefully.

"Are you kidding?" completely guileless, Cory leaned across Shawn to hold the picture next to his face.

It was a picture he had snapped of Shawn, or rather Veronica, as he sat down at lunch. He was looking down as he set his tray on the table and there was a sort of serenity in his face, his neck arched poetically and his wig fell into his eyes in the same way that his normal hair did, Cory had never realized how much that brought attention to his deep brown eyes. He looked completely, utterly beautiful.

As Cory held the picture up to Shawn's face the fleshy part of Cory's palm brushed against Shawn's cheek. And suddenly... it clicked.

Cory had never really thought of Shawn as attractive. Sure he'd been intensely jealous of the fact that his best friends hair actually moved, and annoyed by the fact that girls had always found Shawn way more desirable then himself. But he was Shawn. And suddenly as a tingle ran down Cory's spine he had just become... well, still Shawn, but Shawn with a whole new realm of possibilities.

"Cor?"

Cory snapped back to the world and realized that he had been staring at Shawn a little too long. He cleared his throat and lowered his eyes quickly, and saw that his arm had erupted in goosebumps...and so had Shawn's.

Cory looked back up at Shawn, who very carefully grabbed Cory's arm and put it around his own waist.

"Shawny?"

Neither had ever been sure who had leaned in first but suddenly Shawn was kissing Cory and Cory was kissing Shawn and that was all that mattered until hours, days and weeks later when both boys lay on the floor of the tree house face to face as they started to drift off to sleep.

"Cory?" Shawn whispered, "We've got to be careful."

"What do you mean?"

"No one... I'm... It's just," Shawn took a deep breath, "Cory, no one can know. I'm finally back home with both of my parents, I can't screw that up. And if something happens.. I mean... no one is going to take me in if they think..." his voice trailed off into the darkness.

"Yeah," Cory agreed, then feeling more was expected, "I don't want to hurt Topanga either. So we don't tell anyone," then more eagerly, "But we can keep..."

"I don't know if we should."

"If we're careful?" Cory demanded.

Shawn let out a long sigh, "Okay. If we're careful."

Cory smiled and kissed him shyly.

"We should sleep on separate sides," Shawn had said.

The phrase reverberated through Cory's mind as he parked the car. It echoed among all his other memories of Shawn. Stealing John Adams High's radio show in the 8th grade. Saving him when a slew of his ex girlfriends chained him up in a boat house. The time they'd gotten drunk and said they loved each other. Saving him when he joined a cult. Running across the highway of doom to reunite Shawn's family. The time they had helped Feeny woo Dean Bolander. The time Feeny had challenged Shawn to get sold out super bowl tickets and go to a game across the country, Topanga to stay out of it, and Cory to help them both.

"Topanga," Cory said to himself. Well, they had memories together. Like the time...she'd made him watch chick flicks, or when they went shopping for slacks or baked muffins. Or the millions of times she'd nagged him and tested him. Or the time when she'd admitted she resented giving up Yale for him.

Still trying to think of a happy memory of Topanga he knocked on Shawn's door, which opened immediately. Shawn grabbed his arm, pulled him inside, slammed the door behind him and kissed him forcefully, and Cory gave up on his search for a better memory of Topanga.


	3. Tonight And The Rest Of My Life

"Here," Stewart took her bare arm gently in his hand, Topanga resolutely ignored the feeling of the heat in his fingers spreading across her skin, "We're all over there in the back. It's a little quieter back there,"

She followed him to a booth in the back of the coffee bar where a group of four young people were sitting.

"Hey everyone," Stewart said waving an arm grandly across the booth, "This is Topanga, an old friend. Topanga this is Jeremy, my roommate, " he indicated a young man with shaggy blond hair small, light eyes and a slightly dopey smile, "his girlfriend Esther" he waved at the pretty girl next to Jeremy with long dark wavy hair "Charlie" who had a very angular face, a little acne and a mop of dark curly hair, "And this is Butterfly." Butterfly was Asian, she had short spiked purple hair, big black plastic rimmed glasses, heavy purple eye makeup and a plethora of colorful necklaces strung casually around her long neck. She threw a hand out to Topanga.

"It is absolutely spectacular to meet you, Topanga," she grinned.

"You too, Butterfly," Topanga laughed.

"My parents, god bless them, were crazy old hippies," Butterfly announced, apropos of nothing, "My father inherited _pots_ of money and he and mom decided to build one of those butterfly greenhouse, conservatory things. So when I was _conceived_ in it a couple years later, the name just sort of came to them," Butterfly laughed draining her drink, "Could be worse, if I was a boy they were thinking of naming me Caterpillar." Everyone laughed, Butterfly nodded with melodramatic resignation, "So what happened to you Topanga?"

Topanga was a little taken aback. No one had ever asked her before.

"Yeah, I've always wondered," Stewart said.

"Well," Topanga started uncertainly, "My parents were also crazy old hippies. Topanga Canyon in California was a big hippie... gathering... thing back in the day. Anyway, apparently that is where they met and did lots and lots of drugs... and each other, and now it's me"

This got a laugh from the whole table. Topanga's cheeks warmed pleasurably. She'd really never been asked. Cory had laughed once or twice, asking if "Beth" had been taken, Shawn and Jack had joked, but no one had ever actually wanted an explanation.

"Oh, speaking of California-" Jeremy started in excitedly. And the conversation swept on. They exchanged news and opinions on politics, religion, sociology, things she couldn't talk about with Cory. They talked about and offered to lend her movies she had wanted to see but couldn't convince Cory to go to or had waited for those nights when Cory hung out with Shawn and she had the apartment to herself. Her conversations with her husband tended to start with something to the effect of "You didn't by the fancy bread this time? I love the fancy bread!". She realized that she'd been starving for this kind of mental engagement.

Not that the whole conversation was some snobby high-brow affair. The friends gossiped. There was dirty story telling about so-and-so who had banged such-and-such while she was still dating what's-his-name, but that was something she'd been missing out on too. There wasn't any gossip in her life. Nothing in her life was mutable enough to be gossiped about. She went to bed at nine.

Her head was already swimming a little from the sheer thrill of the newness of it all when Stewart offered to buy her a drink. Automatically she said no. Cory and Shawn had once gotten terribly drunk together and ended up peeing on a police car and getting in horrible trouble with Mr. Matthews.

But a sneaky, suppressed thought snaked into her mind. "So?" it hissed.

"Actually, sure, I'd love one."

"What would you like?" Stewart asked politely.

"Whatever you're having," Topanga said quickly. She didn't know what to order.

Stewart ordered two gin and tonics and asked her about her life. She began the same brief sort of synopsis she would usually give Cory of her day, but Stewart asked her questions. What was going on with the internship? What was she studying? How did she like the apartment? He asked her about the rather broad subject of what had happened since he'd last seen her, and listened interestedly to her as she told him about moving in with Aunt Prudence so that she could stay in Philadelphia with Cory.

"Cory?" Stewart asked blankly, then the light of recognition came into his eyes, "Matthews?"

"Yeah."

"You dated Cory Matthews?" Stewart asked incredulously, "The kid with a baseball fixation and a brillo pad on his head? Hung around with Shawn Hunter, the kid who did the armpit noises and needed a hair cut?"

Topanga laughed so hard it took a while for her to reply, "Yeah that Cory Matthews." She had forgotten about all of that.

She told him about how upset Cory had been when Chubbies closed down. She told him about her decision not to go to Yale because of Cory. She didn't realize that she was drinking in every drop of the attention he gave her, like a woman who'd been lost in the desert and had finally found an oasis.

"Graduation was a disaster," Topanga said after she'd finished her gin and tonic, "Do you remember Cory's brother Eric? He came in to talk to us one time?"

"No, I don't," Stewart said, "Wait, the one who only told us we were going to be... slime balls?"

Topanga giggled, she was a little tipsy, "Yeah, him. Well, back then he was just dumb, as the years went on... gosh he just... he just went freaking insane. He found out that Mr. Feeny was retiring-"

"Oh! Mr. Feeny. When did Mr. Feeny retire?"

Topanga guffawed at this, "That's another story entirely, Stewart,"

He smiled warmly at her, "You'll have to tell me that one next," he said. And she felt herself blush. She cleared her throat, "Anyway..."

And she told him the story about Eric climbing in through Feeny's window the night before graduation and the outrageous solo number Eric performed from the crowd of graduates, and then when she came to the part where she proposed to Cory, she found herself skipping that moment, and going straight into the story of how Feeny had followed them through their entire education.

"Hey, guys," Esther said, "This place is closing in 5. What do you want to do?"

"My roommate is out of town, if you guys want to do a movie or something at my place?" Butterfly offered, "Topanga your welcome to come,"

"What time is it? I forgot my phone," Topanga asked.

It was already 2:00 in the morning. She had a long drive to Philadelphia tomorrow to get Cory and the rest of their things.

"Thanks," she told Butterfly, "But I really have to get going,"

"Okay, well, maybe next time. We'll give you a call," Esther said. Topanga gave Butterfly her number and everyone said how nice it had been to meet her as they walked out the door.

"Do you want me to wait with you?" Stewart asked her.

"Wait for what?" Topanga asked a little blankly.

"While you find a cab?" Stewart laughed.

"Right," Topanga said, she was still a little buzzed, "That would be wonderful." She carefully unzipped her purse "How much does a cab cost?"

"Depends on where you live," Stewart said. Topanga told him.

"Maybe 15, 20 dollars?" Stewart estimated, Topanga clicked her tongue and began digging around in her purse. After a minute she began to dig in a panicky way.

"Oh, no way..." she moaned, "No way!"

"What's wrong?" Stewart asked laying a hand on her shoulder. He hoped she didn't think he was a freak. He'd taken advantage of every opportunity he'd had tonight to touch her. He didn't think he'd ever known a girl as soft or warm as her.

"I left my billfold at the apartment!" Topanga exclaimed, "What am I going to do?"

"Tell you what. My apartment is like 10 blocks that way" he pointed up the street, "We can walk there, and I can lend you the money," he said.

"Are you sure?" Topanga asked.

"It's no problem. Plus I can't abandon you on the street can I?" Stewart said. He risked his luck a little by squeezing the shoulder he'd just caressed. Topanga gave him a grateful smile that made him warm all over.

As they walked to his apartment Topanga asked him about his life since she'd last seen him because she was interested in what he had been up to for the last however many years, but also because she couldn't think of anything else to say about her life. She was a bright girl, she knew exactly why she didn't want to tell him that she had married Cory but the thought was dawning on her, that if she tried to avoid the subject of Cory, she didn't have any other subjects. In every story she had Cory was the main character, in every event in her life Cory had a part. It was Cory, Cory, Cory, and as they reached Stewart's steps and he pulled out his keys and held the door open for her, she had to wonder when it had stopped being about Topanga. When had her life stopped being her own?


	4. In Your Arms Tonight

Topanga sat on Stewarts bed, panting while he dug through the top drawer of his dresser.

"Uh, I feel so out of shape," Topanga breathed. Stewart's apartment was on the 12th floor and his building didn't have an elevator.

Stewart laughed, "Don't worry about it. A month in New York and you'll be able to make it up to the top floor without breaking a sweat."

"This is a really nice place though," Topanga said looking around his bedroom.

"Thanks" Stewart laughed. He grabbed an ATM envelope out of his drawer and sat next to Topanga, not quite so that they were touching, but close enough so that he thought he might be able to feel the warmth from her thigh on his, "But it's not exactly the Ritz."

"Well, you know a little paint would do this place wonders. Maybe a rug. You could cover that stain with it," Topanga pointed toward a large brownish splotch on the carpet by the bed, "What is that from anyway?"

"Um, that was there when we moved in. We hope someone spilled coffee, but we think someone might have been murdered," Stewart said. He could smell her shampoo, it was sharp but fruity, "But hey, it's an affordable two bedroom in the city. The skeleton could've still been lying there and we would have signed the contract." The stain was actually grape juice. He had knocked a pitcher over and never gotten the stain out, but he wanted to impress her. She laughed and looked at him for just a moment too long before looking around the room as though appreciating it again. Stewart began to count out a little more than she needed for cab fare.

Topanga could feel the heat of his thigh on hers and couldn't concentrate on anything else. She forced herself to look at her wedding ring. The symbol of her marriage to Cory. The man she'd been in love with since she was 11 and had kissed him against a locker.

Or was it since she had been 6 and they were catching fireflies?

Or since they were 2 and they were best friends?

Her heart skipped a beat when she suddenly realized that Cory had told her all three of those beginnings and she had never questioned the discrepancy. Why didn't he remember when he'd fallen in love with her? Why couldn't she remember falling in love with him?

"You've been in love with him forever," She told herself silently. The same voice that had been suddenly awakened earlier tonight whispered to her again. "Just because you've always been together doesn't mean you've always been in love,"

She'd been with him forever, and something about tonight was making her wonder why.

"Here."

Topanga tore her eyes of her ring, which she'd been staring at with a sort of horror, and looked at Stewart. He was holding out the money for the cab. She held out her hand but instead of handing the money to her he took her hand in both of his, and an honest-to-god jolt like she'd never felt before shot up her arm, through her stomach and down her thighs.

"Topanga," Stewart said quietly, staring at her hand (Topanga found herself dully thrilled that it wasn't the hand with the ring on it) "I'm so glad I ran into you tonight."

"Yeah," she agreed stupidly. He started to slide his hands off hers slowly. Her whole body was already pins and needles when Stewart put a burning hand on the back of her neck and kissed her.

The incandescence of stars exploding in her mind as - after a nine or fourteen or maybe even eighteen year relationship and a few months of marriage - she experienced her first truly impassioned kiss instantly melded into an electrifying heat in her entire body as Stewart leaned further over her and she folded under him.

Topanga hadn't been raised to believe that sex belonged only in marriage. Her parents hadn't married until she was a toddler and while she didn't' know for sure she was fairly certain that it had been an open relationship for at least a little while. She and Cory had waited until they were married because Topanga had decided that was what she wanted, and while Cory had harassed her about it on occasion he had never protested seriously enough for her to reconsider. So at 20 years old she had only _been with_ Cory. And it was... nice. It wasn't what she had heard about from other girls, but she was sure they'd been exaggerating.

But now, she felt like a perfectly made harp that had been taken from a novice and placed in the hands of a master bard. Instead of hands mechanically fumbling over the strings for a lifeless formulaic tune, a song was pouring out under the effortless caresses and coaxing of a virtuoso. This was a symphony of fire and sweetness, desire and delight and in the final crescendo Stewart leaned over her and kissed her deeply before moving off of her. But instead of rolling to his own side of the bed and falling asleep, he nestled against her and carefully swept her golden hair away from her face before kissing her again, softly this time.

"You are so perfect," was the last thing Topanga heard before falling asleep with Stewart holding her.

* * *

The first thing Stewart heard when he woke up was the sound of Topanga crying. She was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, fully dressed, but with her hair still a mess, crying softly into her knees.

"Topanga? Topanga are you okay?" He asked anxiously. He wrapped the bed sheet around his waist and hopped down to sit by her.

She didn't answer. He put an arm around her and she knew she should push it off but she didn't.

"What's the matter?" He asked trying to be as soothing as possible but convinced he was royally mucking it up.

She turned her red splotched face to him and let out a truncated sob, "Stewart, I'm married."

He had no response to that. None.

"I'm married to Cory. We've been married for a couple months and I'm driving back to Philadelphia to pick him up today. We're subletting my sisters apartment." Topanga was so grateful that he hadn't taken his arm away when she told him this.

Stewart was crushed. He felt like he had to say something now but couldn't think of anything except, "Oh."

Topanga sniffed and moved closer to Stewart and hugged him tightly. He held her for a few minutes, not sure what to ask or say.

Finally Topanga said "I really should leave. I have to be in Philadelphia in time for supper," she let him go and reluctantly he loosened his hold on her, "Thank you so much for the cab fare, I'll pay you back as soon as I can," she said. Stewart was a little hurt at the polite formality in her voice.

"It's not important," Stewart said waving his hand in a dismissive gesture, "Topanga, does this mean I won't see you any more," He grabbed her wrist. He was so grateful she didn't pull away from him.

Topanga knew she should say that they should avoid each other, this was a one night mistake that she should answer for the way she'd made Cory answer for kissing Lauren and this was ten million times worse than what he had done. But she couldn't because she understood now.

She understood what it was to realize that it wasn't undeniable fact that she and Cory were meant to be together.

She wasn't sure who she was anymore, it was too much to pick who she should be with. It was painful to watch Stewart staring at her. She put her free hand over his and tried to put her almost suffocating confusion into words. She failed and simply sobbed, "I have no idea."

He jumped up, grabbed a notebook off of his tiny desk, feverishly wrote something inside, ripped out the page and handed it to Topanga.

"Here, this is my phone number and address, please, please call if you need anything. Anything."

"Thanks," Topanga sighed. She took the paper from him, folded it carefully and tucked it in the back pocket of her jeans. Before she walked out the door both she and Stewart had impulse to hold each other one more time but both thought it was a bad idea, and both regretted that they hadn't done it anyway when the door closed.


	5. All I Ask Of You

Shawn was devastated that Cory was leaving for New York for a lot of reasons. Shawn had lost everyone that had ever been important in his life. Cory was the only person who had ever kept his promise to never leave. And now even he was leaving. Shawn was going to have to stand alone when the only person who had stood beside him as everyone else walked out of his life, finally left.

But as grieved as he was that Cory was leaving, there was a small part of him that had been a little relieved. Angela was only going to be gone a year, and Shawn really did love her. He didn't love her as much as he loved Cory, but over the years he had almost given up hope that he could be with Cory. Cory was never going to admit he was gay. Shawn had hoped he might when Topanga moved to Pittsburg, or when he broke up with Topanga over Lauren. Shawn had been really been waiting for it in these past few months after the wedding when Cory had been getting more and more neurotic by the day... but it wasn't going to happen. And Shawn kept telling himself that waiting for Angela would get him through Cory leaving, and when she got back he'd be able to turn over a new leaf. Be faithful to her the way he should have been this whole time.

But Angela had called him yesterday. She'd been thinking, she said. She hadn't known how to say it, she knew this was a terrible way to do it, but she didn't think they should see each other anymore. Shawn had demanded why and she'd hung up on him. And he'd realized she was never coming back. He hadn't told Cory.

So this morning when he'd woken up with Cory's arms wrapped around him, Cory's breath slow and warm on his neck and realized that it might be the last time...

He'd told Cory that he was going to ruin Topanga's life. That it would be easier to tell her now, so she could go off to New York and have a fresh start instead of him following her there. It would be easier to do before they had kids, before they bought their own place. Before he changed his entire life for her. His parents would be fine, Eric might not even notice.

Cory had almost agreed until Shawn had said it.

"Just tell them you're gay." He should have known better.

Shawn had quietly dealt with "bisexual". He'd even come out to Angela. And she'd been okay with it. Other than when she'd asked about Cory, and he'd lied, things had been fine. But he should have remembered that how Cory felt about "gay".

Cory had freaked out. He'd lit into Shawn. He accused him of only trying to force him into confessing (he wouldn't say "coming out") because now he, Shawn, had nothing left to lose. And Shawn had risen to the bait.

"What do you have to lose Cory? This big nagging albatross around your neck?"

"Don't you dare talk about Topanga that way! I love her!"

"But your IN love with ME!" Shawn had yelled back, "And if you actually gave a damn about Topanga you would get a back bone and tell her the truth!"

And Cory had put on his jacket said "Get your shoes we'll be late," and walked out the door.

So Shawn was sitting in Cory's father's car in silence, upset at how the sound of Cory breathing, which was so calming, almost fulfilling when heard as a soft susurration in the mornings, was now a harsh, grating annoyance in his ears. He turned on the radio, berating himself for ripping into Cory instead of just screaming the truth "All I have to lose is you!".

Cory was just trying not to think. Trying not to think about how upset Shawn was. Trying not to think about how he wasn't sure he could actually go through with moving to New York. Trying not to think about how the comforting bottle of Shawn's cologne he'd stolen from the medicine cabinet and stashed in his jacket pocket wasn't going to be good enough.

Not thinking had gotten him through a lot of years. Before the night in the tree house, he hadn't thought about the way he felt about Shawn. He'd never thought about his relationship with Topanga. No matter how hard it got to stay with Topanga, it was always easier than being with Shawn. He knew he wasn't in love with Topanga but he cared about her. And there had been moments when he thought he might be able to love her the way he loved Shawn. And the few times he'd almost been able to admit it that maybe he couldn't... Shawn had been with Angela, and Cory couldn't take Shawn away from the only other person Shawn had loved unless he, Cory, was sure he was willing to deal with everything that would come with being able to love Shawn.

Because he knew that if he'd been willing Shawn would have left Angela in a heart beat. Before the wedding he had convinced himself that the honeymoon would make him love Topanga the way he loved Shawn. But it hadn't. Two days after Cory and Topanga had come back from their honey-moon he and Shawn had skipped their morning classes to take Shawn's rust heap station wagon to the most abandoned area they could find.

And now everything that had kept them apart this long was gone. Chet had abandoned Shawn for good this time. Angela had run off to Europe, and Cory thought that was also most likely for good. Jack was in Nigeria, maybe not for good but for a couple years. Everything Shawn had been afraid of was gone, but Cory was still tied to Topanga. And for better or worse he had to move to New York.

Things had gone to far, and there was no turning back now.

* * *

Topanga's hands were clenched around the steering wheel of the van the Matthews had lent her to take her and Cory's stuff to New York. She had the radio blasting the oldies station and was singing along to the songs her father used to play her when she was little like "I'm A Believer" or "Last Train to Clarksville" and trying to stop thinking about last night.

But she couldn't. No matter how hard she clenched the wheel, how loud she turned up the radio, how loud she sang, she couldn't stop the images of Stewart laughing at her stories in the coffee bar, of him smiling at her when he offered to wait for a cab with her, the way she'd felt when he touched her. Every detail about last night was flooding her mind. And the more she replayed last night the harder it was getting to replace it with the memories she was trying to suppress it with.

She'd been trying for the last 2 hours of the drive to remember falling in love with Cory.

At first she'd been sure it would just come with her, but then she had to start figuring out a time frame.

"It had to be after I kissed him for the first time but before I proposed"

"It had to be after the whole Lauren thing, but before graduation"

"It had to have been before we were married!"

But she couldn't think of anything. She was starting to panic. If she and Cory weren't meant to be together then she had missed out on junior high, high school and half of college for no reason. Her formative years would have been thrown away completely. They would have been meaningless.

If she wasn't in love with Cory she wasn't anything.

But she couldn't remember and she began to think about last night again. She had spent a couple hours with Stewart before sleeping with him. She had put off sleeping with Cory for... a long amount of years, she couldn't actually remember how long. And even when it had finally happened it hadn't been like that. She really wanted to believe was that it was just because Stewart was good...okay, _amazing_ in bed and that it didn't mean anything about her relationship with Cory. But that idea was not standing up against the wave of uncertainty about her marriage. They'd just always been together. As friends, and girlfriend and boyfriend, fiancés and finally husband and wife.

Topanga gave up. Her throat was hoarse and her ears and hands hurt. She stopped singing, turned off the radio and loosened her grip on the steering wheel, flexing her stiff fingers.

She had to talk to Cory about this. If she was going to take him away from his home and family, and if he was going to come with her into the next stage of her life, she had to be sure they actually belonged together.

Before this went any farther.

* * *

"I thought love was only true in fairy tales, meant for someone else but not for me!" Eric sang along to the radio on his way back from Boston. He had slept pretty well last night all things considered.

So what if his only friend had gotten the girl he was still in a little in love with and they had flown off to Africa to make the world a better place leaving him in Philadelphia basically alone?

So what if he was now, miraculously, a college graduate with no idea where he was going or what he was going to do?

So what if he didn't really want to be a weather man anymore, but still told people that because at least it was something to say?

"Then I saw her face! Now I'm a believer!"

Things would be fine. He had his father's store to fall back on. If he and Shawn found another roommate he would still have a place he could afford. Something would come to him. He'd find a job or a calling or a girl or something.

People thought he was crazy, but it was just a fierce optimism. You had to be upbeat to counteract all of the angst in his family. Look at Cory and Topanga, break up, get back together, break up, get back together. Or Shawn, I have parents, I don't' have parents, I have a legal guardian, I don't have a legal guardian (Eric briefly wondered what had happened to Mr. Turner) I'm in love with Angela, I'm not in love with Angela. Who needed it?

"I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried!"

Singing happily Eric pulled into the Matthew's driveway ready to say good bye to his little sister and brother in law and maybe try to stay in his and Cory's old room so he didn't have to hear Shawn crying all night.

"I'm a believer yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!"


	6. I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

The flat wasn't much. It was one decent sized room with a tiny kitchenette on one side and a really tiny bathroom attached. But it had a small terrace which over looked a busy Parisian street. Which is where Angela was sitting, the warm May sun sinking into her skin while she listened to the street noise that was so excitingly exotic after a lifetime moving around whatever backwoods US cities had military bases.

But Angela wasn't listening to the street noise. She didn't feel exciting or exotic. She felt stupid and ridiculous. She shouldn't have done that to Shawn. She shouldn't have called him and dumped him like that without at least telling him why. She should have given him an earful over why. She'd been thinking about it, and trying not to think about it nonstop since she'd hung up on him yesterday.

So now she was sitting on the terrace with her phone in one hand and her calling card in the other. She'd debated all morning and decided she had to call, but was working up the courage to dial.

* * *

"Wow that smells so good Mom. What is that?" Eric asked throwing his keys on the kitchen counter.

"It's lasagna. But we had a little disaster with the tomatoes," She smiled exasperatedly at her youngest son Joshua, playing contentedly with a toy truck on the kitchen floor, "So it won't be done for a little while yet. I made coffee if you want a cup while we wait for everyone."

"How was the drive Eric?" Alan asked from the kitchen table where he was sitting with Mr. Feeny and Morgan.

"Long," Eric said, pouring himself a cup of coffee, "It's too bad Jack wouldn't just take his dad's money so they could fly from Philly to Boston."

"I think a little self-sufficiency will do Jack good," Alan said.

"Did you get to see much of Boston?" Mr. Feeny asked.

"Yeah, a little. It seems like a neat city," Eric shrugged.

"I should go visit again sometime. It's been years since I went back to my hometown," Feeny said, taking a sip from his cup.

"Well, if Boston's a 4 hour drive then it must be like, 10 hours to get to England," Eric replied.

"Yes, something like that," Feeny agreed dismally.

Eric sat down by Morgan, hoping the conversation would turn to something else. He really didn't want to talk about Jack and Rachel anymore. He didn't want to think about his best friends leaving. He didn't want to think about how more and more graduating from college was starting to feel horribly similar to graduating from high school. His only friends had gone on and left him, just like after high school. He didn't have anywhere to go, just like after high school, and now there was no real logical next step. After high school he'd been hell-bent on going to college and sure, it had taken him an extra year, but he'd made it. After college you either went to grad school or you got a job. He'd barely gotten into college, he didn't think he could handle being in school any longer, but he didn't exactly have job prospects.

"I wonder what's keeping Cory and Shawn," Amy said pulling out a chair between Alan and Eric, "Cory said he'd be here by now."

"I'm sure they're on their way," Alan said.

"I just hope, Shawn didn't.."she sighed, "Do what Shawn does." Everyone at the table nodded somberly.

Morgan leaned over to Eric and whispered sarcastically "20 bucks this dinner doesn't end well,"

"Oh yeah," Eric agreed, taking a gulp of coffee and burning his tongue.

* * *

"Shawn, I'm sorry," Cory said as they pulled off the highway and headed for his neighborhood. Shawn bit his lip and shrugged. They sat in silence for a little while longer before Shawn replied, "So am I" in a voice hoarse from trying not to cry.

"I shouldn't have said what I said, about," Cory tried to think about the best way to put this and then decided that at this point he and Shawn were beyond sugar coating anything, "About you not having anyone left."

Shawn didn't reply. He couldn't bring himself to say that it was true. Angela was gone for good and Cory was as good as gone. There was nothing left to say.

Cory pulled onto his street. The driveway was full so he pulled up against the curb. He pulled the key out of the ignition and stared at the wheel for a few seconds.

"Looks like Eric and Topanga are back," he said. Shawn just nodded.

"So this is it," Cory said, staring back at the wheel.

"Yeah," Shawn choked.

"Yeah." Cory echoed. He looked carefully out the window, scanning the street and the yard, and then leaned over to Shawn, eyes closed. Shawn tore his eyes from the spot on the dashboard where he'd been staring for most of the ride.

"Cory what are you doing?"

Cory's eyes snapped open and he pulled back toward his side a little ways, but not all the way.

"Kissing you goodbye while I have the chance," He said as though it were obvious. Shawn glared at him venomously, got out of the car and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Topanga parked the Matthew's van alongside Eric's Chevy, took the key out of the ignition, took a deep breath and decided not to open the door. She was afraid to go into the Matthew's kitchen and see her mother and father and brother-in-law. She was afraid to see Feeny. She was completely terrified of talking to Cory, and it made it so much worse they she had to do it here, with his family around. It would be better to do it before dinner rather than after.

She had to tell him while they were still in Philadelphia. It would be too horrible if she drug him to New York before she told him and then he left her. But part of her was worried that if he came all the way to New York with her and she told him there, he would be more likely to stay. And she was scared by the fact that part of her didn't want him to stay.

She couldn't go in there like this at any rate. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, which didn't help at all. But it made a memory of her child hood surface. Something her mom, Chloe had taught her, about... about aligning her chakras. She couldn't remember how to do it, exactly, but she gave it a try, and even though she was pretty sure she had done it wrong, she felt better for having tried. She was about to open the door and go to face her fate when her cell phone rang.

She dug it out of her purse hurriedly.

"Hello?" She said, doing her best to sound cheerful, or at least more normal than she felt.

"Hi, Topanga? Where are you?"

"Angela! Hi! I'm in the Matthew's driveway. How is Europe?"

"Are you alone?" Angela asked hurriedly.

"Yeeessssss" Topanga said slowly, "Angela, is everything OK?"

"Well... That's why I called, are you sitting down?" She sounded really anxious.

"Yes. What's going on?" Topanga demanded. A movement in the rearview mirror caught her eye. Another car had pulled up and parked on the street. She couldn't see who was inside.

"Oh, girl, I don't know how to say this.."

"It's okay, Angela. What is it?" Topanga asked.

"It's about Cory...he's..." Angela started slowly, then heaved a sigh and blurted out, "Cory's cheating on you."

Topanga's breath caught. She saw Shawn get out of the car and heard the door slam. Subconsciously she slid down the seat a little so that he couldn't see her but she could still see him in the mirror. Cory appeared in the mirror next and she heard another door slam.

"Topanga? Topanga are you still there?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, I'm here. Cory? What are you talking about? " Topanga felt strangely detached. Cory was cheating on her? Yeah right. With who? He didn't talk to anyone outside of the seven of them so unless he was sleeping with Angela or Rachel, which wasn't even remotely likely. And if it was true, then it was sort of a relief. She had cheated on him, after all. In the mirror Shawn was clearly screaming at Cory, but she couldn't hear what he was saying.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," Angela said. Cory had now run around to Shawn's side of the car, his face was red as he grabbed Shawn's collar.

Angela seemed to be forcing the words out, "Cory... is.. cheating on you... with Shawn."

Shawn pushed Cory away from him forcefully. Cory held on to his collar, both were obviously still screaming, getting redder and redder in the face. Shawn was trying to grab the front of Cory's jacket, and Cory let go of Shawn's collar to try and pry his hands off the jacket. Topanga couldn't make out what was going on but Shawn pulled away from Cory, with something she couldn't quite see clutched in his hand. Cory covered his face with his hands, and Shawn stopped screaming and stared at the object in his hand. He looked almost as shocked as Topanga felt as Angela's revelation began to sink in.

"Hello?" Angela called into the phone.

"Yeah," Topanga replied.

"Are you okay?"

"I... what?"

"Cory and Shawn, they're..." Angela searched for the word "Together. They've been together for years apparently"

In the mirror, Cory put a hand on Shawn's arm and Shawn flung it away. Shawn held out the hand that was holding whatever he'd wrested from Cory's pocket. Topanga could see it now. It was small and dark, shiny, probably glass.

"Okay, Okay, you don't believe me," Angela said, "I had to think about it for a while too when he told me, but seriously don't you see it?"

Shawn shook it in front of Cory's face. He was yelling again. Cory flapped his arms helplessly and Shawn flung whatever it was toward the house. Topanga heard it hit the car.

And suddenly it all made sense. Cory and Shawn, Shawn and Cory. For all the years she'd known them, from stupid little things like them naming their pets after each other, to the way they fought when Shawn found out Cory was applying at a school Shawn couldn't get into, to the way Shawn had fallen apart because of the wedding. The weird way Cory had been acting since the wedding. The way Cory would run off to help Shawn deal with his problems when he and Topanga had their own, the way Cory always talked about Shawn. The way Shawn looked at him. Had always looked at him.

The way she had felt with Stewart last night.

"Oh my god," Topanga gasped. Her husband was sleeping with his best friend.

"I know. I know. I'm so sorry, but I had to tell you, I mean especially before you move. I had to say something,"

"Yeah. When did you... How did you?"

"Yesterday afternoon, I tried to call the apartment, to talk to Shawn and-"

Shawn and Cory were still screaming, but they seemed to be screaming through tears instead of through anger. Shawn grabbed Cory's shoulders and this time it was Cory who pushed him off.

"Angela?" Topanga asked, "Angela are you still there?"

There was no reply, "Angela?"

Topanga looked in the mirror, turned off her phone, brushed a tear off her cheek, and stepped out of the car. The smell of Shawn's cologne was suffocating.

"You're such a fucking coward!" Shawn was shouting hoarsely as Topanga walked around the side of the van that the two fighting boys couldn't see. "After everything? After everything? You won't even SAY IT!"

She stepped over the broken cologne bottle carefully and stepped out from behind the van, appearing just as Cory screamed, "Fine, you want me to say it? I'm in love with you! You happy? I'm in love with you! It doesn't change anything!" Topanga felt his eyes fall on her. He stared, bug eyed.

"It could change _everything_ Cory! And you know you want that!" Shawn yelled, "But you're too.." he noticed that Cory wasn't paying attention and turned to see what Cory was so entranced by.

"Topanga." Cory said. His voice was empty, no hope, no fear, no despair, nothing. It made chills run down her spine. Shawn was staring at her too. She saw his Adam's apple bob.

"Cory! Shawn! What the hell is going on?" Alan yelled, running down the front steps. Amy, Eric, Morgan and Mr. Feeny followed behind him. They'd seen them fighting from the living room window.

Cory and Shawn snapped their deer-in-headlights stares from Topanga to the rest of the family.

And now the both looked so terrified standing there with tear stained faces, shaking with anger, that she might have made up an excuse for them on the spot, she might have asked everyone to let the three of them work something out privately or something. Topanga might have found it in her heart to say something to save them from this moment if it weren't for the fact that at the sound of Alan's shout each boy had taken a few unconscious steps closer to the other. That was the last straw.

Topanga was almost as surprised as everyone else to hear herself suddenly cry out, "Shawn, how could you have done this to me?"


	7. All Eyes On Me

Cory was staring in horror at Topanga. Everyone Shawn had come to think of as family was staring at him with worry and confusion.

And Topanga was giving him the most hurt look that anyone had ever given him in his whole rotten life.

"Shawn how could you have done this to me?" she demanded. Shawn was panting from the fight, but felt like none of the air was getting to his lungs. There was no right answer. There was nothing he could say that would be a believable excuse for anything Topanga could have heard him and Cory saying. Anything he said would out both him and Cory. Cory would never forgive him for that.

Shawn looked down at his shoes as Cory let out the fake laugh that Shawn hated, smiled the fake smile that Shawn hated, and tried, with tears still on his face, to make this go away, "Topanga. Honey. Darling. What are you talking about? This is clearly-"

"Shawn?" She interrupted Cory, not taking her eyes off of Shawn. "Shawn? How could you? I thought you were my friend and you..." He could hear the pain in her voice now, "You knew this whole time. You knew when you set Cory and I up in the 9th grade."

By tremendous force of will he made himself look her in the eye. She deserved that, "You knew when you put us back together all those times, you knew when I gave up Yale, you knew at the wedding, you knew and you didn't tell me? You could've stopped me, you could've stopped this, and you didn't?" Topanga and Shawn were both crying now. He'd never thought of it that way. Over years of lying, Shawn and Cory had lost a lot of their adolescence. But they'd stolen Topanga's.

Shawn bit his lip, "Topanga, I'm... I'm sorry." There was nothing else to say.

There was a silence that might have lasted anywhere between a few seconds and a couple of centuries, Shawn was in no condition to judge, before Amy broke it.

"_What_ is going on?" she demanded.

There was no escape now. Shawn's only hope was that Topanga would tell them so that he didn't have to.

"I'm... God I'm so sorry Topanga," Cory spoke up, his voice was hoarse, desperate.

Shawn looked back down at his shoes, not able to see them through the tears as Cory walked past him. Cory wasn't going to give up. Cory was actually trying to go back to Topanga. Again.

Cory put his hands on Topanga's shoulders, "I'm so, so sorry Topanga," Topanga let him embrace her, but didn't move to put her arms around him" I'm so sorry," He kissed her forehead.

And then he let her go and stood halfway between her and Shawn.

"I'm not going to New York," He declared shakily. Everyone looked at him with astonishment. Shawn lifted his head slightly and tried to blink away some of the tears, trying not to hope. He'd hoped for too long already.

"I'm staying here in Philadelphia," Cory's voice was strained, scared. He edged closer to Shawn, and to Shawn's complete and utter disbelief he felt Cory grab his hand, and squeeze it tight. Shawn stared at him, through tear bleared eyes as Cory said, "With Shawn. I'm staying with Shawn. Because I'm in love with him," Cory put his other hand over his and Shawn's, "I hope, after everything, he's still in love with me?" he voice broke as he tried to ask.

Shawn stared at him, frozen by shock for a second, before throwing his arms around the curly haired boy and tightly embracing him. Cory hugged him back so hard that Shawn almost couldn't breathe again, but it was okay this time, it was better than okay, "Of course I am," Shawn told him hoarsely. The boys let go, a little reluctantly, and wiped their eyes as Amy, Alan, Morgan and Feeny stared on in shock. "I'm gay," Cory told them all with a shrug and a quavering voice, one arm still around Shawn.

"Okay, okay" Eric said stepping forward," Clearly this is going to be followed by a long explanation. There's is probably going to be crying and yelling and whatever," He made a dismissive gesture, "But Mom, Dad, Feeny, Topanga, If you really care, you'll let us eat lasagna while we do that because I'm _starving_."

Everyone ignored him.

"So you two are?" Amy waved a finger between Cory and Shawn vaguely.

Cory bit his lip and nodded, "Yeah, Ma."

"Okay, fine" Eric groaned in a bored way, "If I already knew about this can I go eat?"

"What?" Everyone shouted in unison.

"You knew?" Cory demanded.

"Oh come on! I shared a room with Cory up until I shared and apartment with Shawn. I've seen things an older brother should never see!" Eric exclaimed, "You know, in retrospect I should've started knocking."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Shawn demanded.

"If I don't get any lasagna soon I might tell just everyone about the birthmark on your-"

"Well? What are we all standing around here for?" Cory interrupted loudly, "That lasagna's not going to eat itself!"

"Thank you!" Eric yelled, immediately turning and heading back inside. Shawn waved for everyone to follow. Alan, Amy and Feeny cast a glance at Cory and Topanga before trooping after Eric. Cory followed. Shawn put out an arm to stop him.

"Talk to Topanga, I'll handle the rest of them," Shawn said, pushing Cory back gently. Cory watched Shawn and Morgan walk inside, and heard Morgan say with her usual cynicism, "How's it feel to be the other woman, Shawn?"

"Shut up, Morgan," Shawn replied wearily.

Topanga had one arm wrapped around herself and was covering her face with the other. Cory swung his arms, hitting his flat palm against the other fist the way he always did when he was nervous.

"Well, I need to sit down," he said wiping the back of his hand across his face and lowering himself to sit on the lawn cross legged. He sniffed and started to play with a few blades of grass. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Topanga," he said finally.

Topanga let out a strangled noise and turned her face from Cory.

"Please, Topanga, don't just stand there. Yell at me, scream at me. Hit me. Kick me. You wanna kick me? Kick me. I'll just sit here. I deserve it."

Topanga turned back around and took a few steps toward him. Cory flinched, but she just sat down across from him, hugging her knees to her chest. She sighed and wiped her red blotchy face roughly.

"I'm not going to kick you," She said heavily.

Cory relaxed and scooted a little closer to her, "Topanga, I'm so sorry. This whole thing just spun out of control. I didn't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you." Topanga stared at her knees, he wasn't sure if she was listening, "But I did. I hurt everyone, and I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything, but I am. I really wish I could explain how sorry I am."

They sat in silence for a little while. Topanga looking at her knees and Cory looking at her.

"Okay, you gotta say something," Cory begged.

"I'm so stupid," Topanga muttered into her knees, "I thought it was sweet. My boyfriend and his best friend, they're so cute. My boyfriend is such a nice guy, he's not just trying to get into my pants. You know I actually thought it was because you respected me," She laughed derisively," My boyfriend is such a great guy, look at the way he takes care of his best friend. And you were sleeping with him. I'm so stupid for being surprised. I spent the whole drive here feeling so guilty, and now this."

"I know, I'm so sorry. I'm scum! I wanted to tell you, I really did. Topanga, I know this doesn't make it better, but we were so terrified and confused. And you have no idea how hard it was to try and fix things once we finally started to figure out that...," He stopped suddenly, "Wait... What could you possibly have to be guilty about?" Cory asked.

Topanga lifted her head from her knees and stared at Cory, briefly remembering how scared she had been to tell him this 10 minutes ago, before Angela called, "I slept with Stewart Minkus last night," She said with an almost bitter, challenging tinge to her voice, despite the fact that her confession has just become laughably anticlimactic. Cory just looked at her, a little blankly.

"Cory say something!" Topanga demanded.

Cory shrugged, "How was he?" he asked with a weak laugh.

"Straight!" Topanga snapped.

Cory nodded in a "you got me" sort of way, and wiped his face with the back of his hand, "Do you completely hate me?" he asked in low voice.

Topanga was a little taken aback at the question. She immediately looked up at him and opened her mouth to say "no", but closed it again and stared back into her knees.

She kind of did hate him. He had lied to her, he had cheated on her, he had ruined her life. She could have dated other people, she could have gone to Yale! She could have done a million different things with her life! She could have _not_ invested so much of herself and her life in someone who had _never_ loved her. He had made her forget who she was!

Out of the corner of her eye she watched him swallow heavily and blink away tears. He'd taken the silence for a yes.

"I don't hate you," she said finally. She couldn't put all of the blame entirely on him. She had had a choice all those years, and she had chosen to go back to him all those times. She had chosen based on his lie, but it didn't matter anymore. He was staying in Philadelphia with Shawn and she was off to New York. Making him feel worse would just be cruel, especially right now, and it wouldn't change anything.

He looked up at her in surprise, "Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, really," she said flashing half of a reluctant smile.

Another tense silence descended for a little while before Cory asked tentatively, "What do we do now?"

"I don't know," Topanga admitted, wiping her hands in the grass by her thighs, "I guess we get divorced."

"Yeah," Cory nodded, " I guess we do."

"And I have to find a way to get back to New York tonight."

"Dad can still drive you. He was all ready set to drive both of us anyway, and now you don't have to take the van. And at least you'll have something to talk about on the drive," Cory sighed.

Topanga let out a cough that might have almost been a laugh, "Yeah, that sounds like fun," she said sarcastically, "What about you? What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. I'm going to have to deal with my parents. I guess I have to call Pennbrooke and see if I can get into any classes next year this far after registration. I'm going to have be... _out_ at school. I have to find a place to live," He began to rub his temples.

"Shawn and Eric need another roommate," Topanga suggested.

"Yeah. Living with my brother and my...whatever. That's clearly a wonderful idea," Cory laughed mirthlessly, "God, This is going to be so hard. Things have always been so certain, I mean, they were a mess, but I knew what to expect."

"You weren't certain Cory," Topanga told him, "You were lying. You made a lie a certainty so that you wouldn't have to deal with the truth. You've put off dealing with the truth long enough. You and Shawn both have."

Cory nodded, exhaled sharply and stood up a little unsteadily. He extended a hand to help Topanga up, but she waved it away.

"Maybe we should go inside," Cory suggested, "I'm sure it isn't tense enough with just Shawn, the family, and Feeny in there."

"Yeah," Topanga nodded unenthusiastically, "And I'm starving."

"Me too," Cory agreed. They started walking across the lawn. Cory stopped at the front door and turned to Topanga, "So, are we okay?"

She shrugged, "No Cory, we aren't. You lied for years. We both cheated. This isn't some sort of Disney special. It's not that easy."

"So what are we?"

"Technically, I guess we're separated," She said.

"Wow. Separated at 20, when a long term gay affair was exposed," Cory said, "We are going to be in so much therapy over this aren't we?"

"Probably."

Cory held the front door open for her and they walked into the living room. Mr. Feeny was sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee, he set his cup on the coffee table and came over to them.

"Mr. Matthews, I want you to know that I'm happy for you and Mr. Hunter. You two have always been there for each other, and I am sure you will continue to be."

"Thanks Mr. Feeny," Cory said, shaking Feeny's hand and heading for the kitchen.

"Good luck in there," Feeny called. Cory nodded and left.

"I'm so sorry Miss Lawrence," Mr. Feeny told her. She noticed that he'd used her maiden name and was surprised at how much she appreciated it, "I really don't know what to say. This is really, quite a bizarre going away party."

"It really is," Topanga agreed, unsure of what else to say.

Mr. Feeny fiddled with his ring, "I'm not good at goodbyes at the best of times, Miss Lawrence, but under the circumstances, I think it's even more appropriate to tell you that, of all the students I've taught, there is not one in whose ability to succeed, whatever obstacle is thrown in front of her, that I more confidence in than yours. Think of this whole thing as just a step in the journey. You will do well in New York, no matter what happens, or has happened."

Topanga felt herself tearing up. She hugged Mr. Feeny, who, surprised, patted her awkwardly on the back until she let go, "Thank you Mr. Feeny," She said, wiping tears off her face for what was probably the hundredth time today.

"It's the truth, my dear," He said patting her hand. He cleared his throat and retrieved his coffee, "Well, I think I'm going to go back home via the front door," he said.

"Is it that bad in there?"

"It's another step," He said as he opened the door. Before he walked out he turned back and said, "Good luck, Topanga, keep in touch."

"Thank you, Mr. Feeny. I will," she smiled. Mr. Feeny smiled back, and left. Topanga took a deep breath, braced herself and walked into the kitchen.


	8. All That I Am

You couldn't cut the tension in the Matthew's kitchen with a knife. You'd a need a chainsaw, or maybe a jackhammer. The only sound was Eric chewing.

Shawn couldn't eat. First off, Eric had scooped half of the pan of lasagna onto his plate and was devouring it with thoroughly nauseating speed. Secondly, he swore that he kept catching Mr. and Mrs. Matthews watching him from the corner of their eyes when they thought he wasn't looking and third, despite Cory finally confessing to his parents and vowing to stay in Philadelphia, Shawn could not help worrying about the fact that Cory was currently outside. Alone. With Topanga.

When Feeny stood up everyone (except Eric) looked up, all hoping he'd say something, impart some wisdom, share some sort of garden metaphor that explained and okayed the days events thus far. But he simply poured himself a cup of coffee, nodded in embarrassment at the waiting faces and walked silently into the living room.

"Okay, for the love of God, will someone please say something!" Shawn exclaimed setting down his fork with a clatter of dinnerware.

Amy and Alan stared at him, Morgan smirked, and Eric still didn't look up from his lasagna. Finally Amy spoke.

"Eric keep your mouth closed."

"Bet Shawn's never heard that from Cory," Morgan said snarkily. Shawn's eyes bugged. It was alarming, for one thing to hear Morgan making dirty jokes, more alarming that they were about him and her brother, and most alarming to hear anyone talking, especially lightheartedly, about what had been his deepest darkest secret for so long. It was insane to realize that it was out in the open now.

Eric snorted, the whole table stared at him.

"What? That was funny!" He said through a mouthful of lasagna.

"Morgan Matthews!" Amy exclaimed in outrage, "Where did you learn to talk like that?"

"Oh come on!" Morgan exclaimed in exasperation, "Someone had to say something. What? We were just going to sit here and pretend that we were all completely surprised the Cory and Shawn are doing it? Hell! I barely talk to either of them and even I knew!"

Shawn pretended to fascinated by his rapidly cooling lasagna.

"Didn't knock?" Eric asked seriously, putting a consoling hand on her arm the way soap opera doctors do to patients who have been told they only have weeks to live. Morgan shook it off.

"No I figured it out because I'm not stupid!"

Cory walked into the kitchen, looking ragged, as Morgan demanded "Where have you people been the past few years?"

"Morgan. Upstairs. Now," Mr. Matthew's said in his I'm-very-close-to-the-last-straw-and-you-aren't-helping voice.

"Fine," Morgan rolled her eyes, got up from the table and headed for the stairs. She stopped in front of Cory and folded her arms, "Look, Cory, you're my brother, and no matter what, you're okay by me," she said in a very matter of fact tone.

"Thanks Morgan" Cory said, clearly deeply touched.

She nodded, and walked to the base of the stairs where she turned again, "And Shawn?"

"Yeah?" He responded, finally looking up from his plate.

"You probably could've done better," she grinned mockingly at everyone in the kitchen and finally disappeared up the steps. Shawn couldn't help smiling. At least one of the Matthews was on their side.

"Okay, Topanga is in the living room talking to Mr. Feeny," Cory said seriously, "It's still her going away party, so maybe it would be better if Shawn and I just took off, and let everyone say good bye,"

"Yeah," Shawn agreed getting up from the table and standing alongside Cory. He was all in favor of getting the hell out of this kitchen, he was almost frantic to hear what Cory and Topanga had talked about, and not exactly enthusiastic to see Topanga face to face again, "We can call a cab and wait outside. We've caused enough trouble."

"You don't have to go," Topanga said, walking into the kitchen, "I'm not staying."

Amy got up from the table and hugged Topanga, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Mrs. Matthews," She said. Neither Shawn or Cory could bring themselves to look at her, "I just want to get on the road as soon as possible."

"I'll take her," Eric volunteered, pushing his chair back from the table.

"Eric, I can take her," Alan gesturing at him dismissively.

"It's okay Mr. Matthews. Eric can sleep in Nebula's room and you have the store to get back to tomorrow. Plus I'd like to talk to him about this whole thing," Topanga said.

"And I'm sure I'm not wanted in the apartment tonight," Eric said with a grin.

"Okay, that's enough of that," Shawn exclaimed.

"Morgan jokes you're touched, I joke I'm yelled at," Eric sighed, "You ready to go Topanga?"

She nodded and hugged Amy again, "Thank you. For everything."

"Good Luck Topanga, give us a call when you get to New York," Amy said beginning to tear up. Topanga hugged Alan goodbye too while Eric stood in the door jingling the keys. She turned to go out the door, paused and turned back around.

To Shawn's immense discomfort, Topanga walked toward him, stopped right in front of him and then to his complete surprise hugged him too.

"You take care of him," She said tearfully, "And when he drives you nuts," She tried to laugh, "You call me."

"I really am sorry," Shawn told her, he was crying again too.

"I know you are," She said, and then, she told him, "And I forgive you," even though she didn't mean it, because she knew that he needed to hear it. And eventually, she thought, she would forgive them both. One of the first things Chloe and Jedidiah had taught her was to be the bigger person, and if she was going to become herself again, she was going to have to start at the beginning.

"Cory, I'll call you later this week and we can work out the divorce details," She said softly before hugging him too, "I hope you'll be happy," she said. And she felt better for saying it.

"Goodbye everyone."

And then, she and Eric left, and Cory and Shawn were left in the Matthew's kitchen with Cory's parents.

"Oh gosh. Poor Topanga," Amy breathed.

"I'll just call a cab-"Shawn started.

"Sit down, Shawn," Alan said firmly, "You too Cory."

Both young men obeyed immediately.

"Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews, This whole thing is my fault-" Shawn started immediately.

"Stop Shawn." Alan cut him off.

"Alan, don't yell," Amy said sitting next to her husband, "You'll scare the baby," she waved at Joshua, who, completely immune to all the tension of this situation and the situations preceding it was still sitting on the kitchen floor, contentedly chewing on his own fingers.

"I'm not going to yell, Amy," Alan insisted he folded his hands on the table looked down at them

"Did you know you were..." Alan started, "Did you know before you got married?"

"Yeah," Cory admitted looking down at his hands, "I knew. And I was with Shawn before that too" might as well get all the honesty out in one go, he figured, "This has been going on since we were 15. We've been lying to everyone since we were 15 okay? We were in the tree house, working on something for school, and we ended up making out. And it was amazing okay?" Cory went on, not caring that both his parents had flinched at that, "And I was sure everyone could tell just by looking at me, and when I realized they couldn't I thought to myself why should I say anything? Maybe I'll outgrow it , maybe it will go away. Maybe I can keep being the perfect American son in the perfect American family and nothing has to change. I mean, I saw the way you guys reacted just when Eric didn't get into college. And that's nothing compared to this."

Shawn was staring at Cory in amazement. He'd finally snapped. Shawn had never actually believed that Cory was afraid to tell his perfect parents. He'd really thought that Cory had kept the secret for his sake and then because he didn't want to hurt Topanga. He'd had no idea.

"So I latched onto Topanga because she would go out with me, and she would get back together with me when we broke up and yeah, I know it was wrong, but everything just kept getting more complicated. Everything got more complicated, and tangled and insane until it finally snowballed into this. So yeah, Mom, Dad. I'm gay, I'm getting divorced. I've been lying to everyone for 5 years. I'm not a perfect son in a perfect family anymore and I really don't care what you think of that. I don't care if you throw me out now and never talk to me again." He grabbed Shawn's hand on the table and squeezed it again, "Cause I'm just never going to be ashamed of myself ever again. Even if you are."

Amy and Alan looked as shocked as Shawn was.

"Cory, we aren't ashamed of you," Amy said finally, "You're our son, and we will love you no matter what you do, who you are, or who you date. And Shawn, you've been part of this family for a long time and you will always be part of this family."

"Thanks Mrs. Matthews," Shawn said.

"Dad?" Cory asked.

Alan smiled, "Hey, what she said." He got up from the table and picked up Joshua "Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I think Joshua and I have had enough excitement for one day."

"I could use some coffee," Amy sighed.

"Yeah," Shawn agreed," I'll just go call that cab"

"Don't worry about it," Alan said, "You can take the car. Just get it back by tomorrow."

"Thanks Dad." Cory said and then bit his lip, "Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you guys."

Alan and Amy shrugged.

Cory hugged his parents goodbye and his parents hugged Shawn goodbye and they left promising to drop by for lunch and a more friendly conversation sometime this week when they had all recovered from today.

"Cor?" Shawn asked when Cory had started the car, "I know it's been a tough day, but I have to ask. Would you have really gone to New York?"

"Well," Cory sighed, "You know me better than anyone Shawnie. Do think I would have really gone to New York?"

"I think you would've gone to New York, convinced me to come with, convinced Topanga to let me live in the extra room in the apartment, and just hoped that we'd eventually get caught."

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Cory laughed, "Which is why I'm so glad you got us caught now. You know how I get carsick on long trips."

Shawn laughed despite himself, leaned over and kissed Cory.

"You know, I've got this horrible weight off my shoulders, I feel pretty good. We should go out somewhere where I can show you off and we can celebrate," Cory suggested.

"I was thinking the almost the same thing, but I was hoping we could back to the apartment and," he grinned "_celebrate_ there, and then you could show me off later?"

Cory kissed him, "Let's go with your idea"

* * *

Amy had put Joshua down for his nap and then she and Alan had flopped down on the living couch with a cup of coffee. They sat there in a still slightly stunned but mostly exhausted silence.

"Well that is not how I expected today to go," Amy said.

"Yeah," Alan agreed.

"I just hope we've reached our quota on surprises today,"

"Yeah," Alan agreed.

Morgan ran down the stairs grabbed a jacket off the coat rack and opened the door.

"I'm going over to Maria's" she declared, "Oh, and I figured that this is as good a time as any to tell you I got my belly button pierced. Bye!" she ran out the front door before either of her parents could say anything.

Neither of the Matthew's moved for a moment.

"You know what would go well with this coffee?" Amy asked finally, " A cocktail,"

"Thank God you think so too," Alan agreed.


	9. Everyone's Your Friend in New York City

**Everyone's Your Friend In New York City**

When Nebula checked in on Topanga before she left for the airport she wasn't surprised to see her little sister's room empty. Not after that way she'd been looking at the handsome blonde from last night. Nebula heaved a little sigh. She had been hoping she would get to say goodbye before she left. She would just have to call later and hope that Topanga would be able to email her about what had happened.

Nebula got to the airport at 6:00 am, bought an over priced but completely delicious banana nut muffin at 6:30, and was settled into her terminal by 6:45. Her flight didn't leave until 8:00 so passed the time by people watching and eavesdropping on interesting cell phone conversations. At 7:55 it was announced that her flight had been pushed back to 9:30. It took Nebula until 8:35 to find out about the storm that had pushed back the flight. At 9:20 her flight was cancelled all together. It was nearly 11:00 before she had gotten her luggage back and found out how to exchange her ticket for a flight to Paraguay today for a ticket that would get her to Paraguay two days from now. She would have to fly to Mexico, then Columbia, then Brazil and then finally land in Paraguay but it was either that or wait another week. It was nearly 1:00 in the afternoon by the time she managed to get back to her apartment.

Once she dumped her suitcases in her room, made herself lunch and settled into the couch with a book she was actually delighted about the whole thing. She had two days with no plans made and no work to do. She would get to meet Cory and hear all about Topanga's little fling. Well, probably not that last part. But she could hope, she thought with a smile .

* * *

Eric was starting to wish that he had just stayed in the apartment with Cory and Shawn, bought ear plugs and locked himself in his room for the next couple of days. He and Topanga had driven in gloomy silence until they had a little over half and hour left to drive. That was when Topanga finally started to cry. Unsure of what else he could do Eric asked if he could get her something to eat. Topanga nodded and he found a gas station with a Subway in it. She cried in the car while he went in.

"Thank you," She sniffed when he came back with her vegetarian sub.

"No problem," Eric climbed back into the car, and handed her something else, "I thought you might need this too."

"What is this?" Topanga asked.

"It's a calling card," he said, "I'm sorta broke so it's only for 20 minutes, but I thought you might need to talk to Angela."

"Angela already knows," Topanga said.

"I know," he turned the key in the ignition, "I told her."

"I had to think about it for a while too when he told me," Angela had said.. So that's how she'd found out. Topanga stared at Eric.

This was the goofy older brother that had been running around in the background of her life for so long. This was Eric. He didn't mean any harm. So she bit her tongue and tried to count to ten and be the bigger person again, but she exploded at about five because she had to explode at someone and unlike Cory and Shawn, Eric was here.

"You told Angela? When was someone going to tell me Eric!" She bellowed, hitting him in the face with her sandwich.

"Heyheyhey, don't whack the driver." Eric said, "I was going to tell you Topanga. I was."

"But you didn't!" She whacked him again.

"Kay, I understand you're upset and that's why I'm not taking the sandwich away from you," Eric said. Topanga slapped the sandwich on her lap emphatically.

"Why didn't you tell me! Why didn't you tell me years ago? Why didn't you tell me before I married your goddamn brother, or at least before I tried to drag him to New York?" She shrieked.

"Topanga, look," Eric started in a tone entirely too firm for Eric, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. If I'd known what was actually happening I would have said something. But you have to understand that I didn't really know that they were together until a couple months before the wedding,"

Topanga hit him with the sandwich again, "I don't believe you!"

"Ow, that one hurt!" Eric growled, "I'm serious. The first time I walked in on Cory and Shawn was years ago when you and Cory were on and off a lot and I figured it was none of business and things would work out. Then I never caught them while you and Cory were engaged and then one night I heard them talking, there was nothing on TV so I thought I'd eavesdrop. Basically they agreed that since Shawn was in love with Angela and Cory was getting married that it was over, which is the first time I knew there was anything to end," he said, "Okay? I swear. If I'd thought there was a reason to tell you before the wedding I would have." He winced, much the way Cory had, but Topanga didn't hit him again.

"So why did you tell Angela?" She demanded, her voice still harsh.

"Why do you think?" He asked sarcastically, "Right after Angela left, like that night, I came back to the apartment and... there were Cory and Shawn. And then the next day Angela called looking for Shawn, and I had to tell her. And I was going to tell you before you left for New York. I really was. But that's just not how it worked out," Eric sighed, "I'm sorry. But Cory's my brother you know? What was I supposed to do?"

"Turn here," Topanga replied harshly.

They sat in silence as Eric looked for and miraculously found a place to park. Topanga stepped out of the car without saying a word to him and he followed her up to the apartment. Maybe things would've been better all around if he'd spoken up earlier. But honestly? Even if he'd said something who would've believed stupid, crazy Eric?

Nebula was making tea in the kitchen when Topanga walked in with Eric behind her.

"Hey!" Nebula exclaimed, "You must be Cory!" she scurried over and hugged Eric, "I'm making tea. It's hibiscus rosehip from the herbalist down the street. Good for the soul. Enough for everyone."

"Nebbie, what are you doing here?" Topanga asked huskily, tears were welling up in her eyes again.

"Ugh. So I get to the airport and it turns out that there was some really tremendous storm over, I don't know, all of Paraguay, apparently. My flight has been pushed back a couple days and now instead of a straight flight, I'm going to end up puddle jumping over most of South America. But now I actually get to meet this husband of yours!" Nebula said excitedly as she took three mugs down from the cupboard. Then she saw the look on Topanga's face, "What's the matter?"

"Why don't you tell _her_ too, Eric?" Topanga spat, "I'm going to call Angela."

"Topanga?" Nebula called, but her sister stormed off to her room and slammed the door behind her. Nebula moved as if to follow her but Eric grabbed her shoulder gently.

"I'd let her go if I was you," Eric advised.

Nebula turned to Eric, "What the hell is going on? What's wrong with her? And who are you?"

"I'm Eric Matthew's. I'm Cory's older brother. It's a really long story."

"Wait, your Cory's brother? Where's Cory?"

"He's in Philadelphia," Eric said, "With Shawn. His boyfriend."

"Oh my god," Nebula exclaimed her hand shooting to her mouth, "Oh my god. So her husband is... oh my god. Is she alright? Well no, obviously," Nebula answered her own question, "What the hell happened? How did she find out? Who's Angela? What are you doing here?" She asked pouring out the tea, handing Eric a cup and ushering him to the couch.

Eric explained what had happened in the Matthew's yard and kitchen as best he could while Nebula listened with wide eyed concern.

"I feel awful," Eric finished, "This is all my fault."

"Oh, honey," Nebula said patting his shoulder, "You can't blame yourself for this. These things happen."

"Yeah but..." Eric exhaled sharply, "I knew about it. I knew and I didn't tell anyone. Not even Topanga. I should've have told Topanga." He tried to explain to Nebula the reasoning he'd given to Topanga and was slightly relieved when Nebula nodded.

"Well, yeah. He's your brother. What else could you have done?" she bit her lip, "But hell. What do I know about it? I'm a terrible sister."

"I'm sure you're not a terrible sister," Eric assured her.

"I've hardly talked to Topanga since I left for college. I don't know anything about her. She's a completely different person than she was the last time I saw her. She's going through something really traumatic right now, and I'm sitting out here talking to you because I have absolutely no idea how to help her," Nebula started to tear up and Eric put a comforting arm around her shoulder, "You're her brother-in-law, you know her better than I do. What should I do?" Nebula asked him.

"Honestly? I'd let her talk to Angela and get some sleep. Topanga is a tough chick. I think she'll be okay."

Meanwhile, in the room that she had planned would be hers and Cory's but now was just hers, Topanga crawled into her pajamas and wept for the loss of her youth, for her lost opportunities, for the loss of the husband who had never been hers to begin with.

She lamented for leaving her home behind, and not just Philadelphia, but her whole concept of Philadelphia. Everything her hometown had ever meant to her had been corrupted and she wept for that too.

Eventually she calmed down enough to call Angela and the two betrayed girls began a long circular conversation trying to pinpoint why they should had known and what should have tipped them off and why no one had told them until they had run through both the both of their calling card limits. Finally Topanga started to get to tired to keep track of their conversation and promising to email her tomorrow, said goodbye to Angela and soon after that, trying not to imagine where Cory and Shawn might be, fell asleep.

* * *

Topanga slept deeply, as one does after crying oneself to sleep. She awoke feeling surprisingly rejuvenated. The ugliness and unpleasantness of the day before still clung to her, but the grip was distinctly weaker. She got ready quickly and walked out in the living room where Eric and Nebula were asleep on the couch, heads on opposite sides and feet tangled in the middle. They slept the same way, one hand on the chest, one leg extended and the other bent at the knee. They were actually mirror images of each other Topanga noticed with a smile. She wrote a quick note so they wouldn't worry, set it on the coffee table in front of the couch and left, unsure of where she was going.

She found herself in a deli with a scone and a latte before long, staring at her purse. Stewart's phone number was in there. He'd said to call if she needed anything. Anything. But what was she going to tell him? She didn't want to just jump from Cory to Stewart. She didn't want to cry on his shoulder and end up in his bed. She didn't want to rebound. She wanted to be single for a while, and figure out what it was like to be just Topanga, not half of Topanga-and-Cory. She didn't want a boyfriend right now. She just wanted a friend. But her best friend was in Paris, and her only other friend was in Nigeria, completely incommunicado for all intents and purposes.

She grabbed her purse, fished out a folded piece of paper and her cell phone and dialed. It only rang once.

"Yo. What can I do ya for?"

"Hey, Butterfly? This is Topanga."

"Hey Topanga!" Butterfly replied excitedly, "What's going on?"

"You wouldn't even believe it," Topanga sighed, "But I'll tell you anyway. Do you want to meet me somewhere? Maybe go shopping?" Topanga had been itching to change her wardrobe for the last two days. She was sick of feeling so plain and ordinary, especially now.

"Totally! I know the best place too!" Butterfly trilled.

It was exactly what Topanga had been hoping for. A funky little hole in the wall shop that smelled strongly of incense and just slightly of marijuana. She and Butterfly dug through the racks of wild, colorful, and earthy clothes while Topanga related everything that had happened to her in the last couple of days to Butterfly as the latter accumulated an armful of purple clothes.

"Chica, that's messed up," Butterfly said when Topanga finished. Despite her self Topanga laughed, "Isn't it?"

"You gonna take this Cory bastard for all he's worth in the divorce?" Butterfly inquired.

"He doesn't actually have anything," Topanga sighed, "Nothing I want anyway."

"There has to be some way of getting him to pay alimony or whatever. Emotional damages, or something."

"I don't need his money and I'd rather just let it be over and not have go to court and then read his name on a check every month," Topanga sighed, "I'm more worried about what to do about Stewart."

Butterfly smirked, "Kay, I'm sorry hon, I know you're, like, suffering a big emotional blow, but I have _got_ to ask. How is he?"

"What?"

"How is Stew in bed?" Butterfly asked a little mischievously.

"Why?" Topanga asked, shocked.

"Cause one time we were over at his place and Esther and I found black satin sheets in his closet. And in my experience," She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, "That means a guy is either a master of his craft, or a total wannabe. Esther and I have a bet. So which is it?"

Topanga blushed, but had to smile, "The first one," she giggled.

"Alright, Esther owes me 20 bucks," Butterfly laughed.

"Black satin sheets? That seems so sleazy," Topanga said.

"Really? I think it's hot," Butterfly said. Topanga thought about it, "Well... Maybe." she admitted.

"Sorry, back to our regularly scheduled drama," Butterfly said in mock seriousness. Topanga was glad she'd called Butterfly. They were having fun. She didn't talk about things like this in public with her friends. They barely talked about them in private to tell the truth.

"Okay," Topanga laughed, "Where were we?"

"You don't know what to do about Stewart," Butterfly supplied.

"Yeah. What do you think? You know him better than I do,"

"Well, from what I saw between you two the other night and what I've heard from both of you, you two totally clicked. But if I were you, I sure as hell wouldn't want to get into a serious relationship for a while."

"So what do I do?"

"Talk to Stew. Explain what happened. Tell him how you feel. I mean, your whole dealio is complicated enough without lying about it and making it even worse."

"So, do I tell him over the phone, or meet him somewhere, or what?"

"Tell you what, I'm having a party tonight to celebrate losing my apartment, everyone's coming, including Stewart, why don't you come? If you just run into him then you don't create this high pressure prearranged meeting vibe. Plus it's a party, so it can't get, like, weepy serious."

"Why are you celebrating losing your apartment?"

"Cause it's a crap-hole, and I hate my roommate, and one of the perks of the party is that she is out of town and I'm going to leave the mess for her to clean up," Butterfly grinned, " So you coming?"

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Not entirely sure. Sure enough. Not a terrible idea," Butterfly said.

And even though going to Butterfly's party and hoping to run into Stewart and tell him about her gay husband and impending divorce was not a perfect plan, or a well thought out plan, or even a good plan, Topanga was okay with it.

"Yeah, I'll be there," She said.


	10. Here's Your Letter

It was a hot dusty day. Everyday was a hot and dusty day, Rachel reflected as she walked to the shade tent that hung over the handful of mismatched tables where lunch was being served. The cook smiled and handed her a bowl as she walked into the shade. She thanked him and then Jack's waving hand caught her eye.

"Stew," Jack greeted her as she pulled up a chair next to him, "Stew again. Three hundred degrees out, we've been working in the sun all morning and they cook us stew," but he was grinning as he shook his head in mock disgust.

Rachel laughed and ruffled his hair. He brushed his lips across her cheek when she sat down and she smiled at him.

It was almost outrageous how much Jack had changed in the last three months. His awful, coifed, gelled, spiked, highlighted, metrosexual hair had grown shaggy and untamed without an expensive stylist to see to it or any product to put in it. The highlights had disappeared as his hair became a sun bleached blonde. His gym-cultivated muscles had smoothed and swelled and were now more natural and toned. His fake-baked bronze had warmed into a beautiful nutty sort of brown.

"You alright?" Jack asked and Rachel realized she had been staring at him, "You need some water?" he offered her his bottle.

"Sure. Thanks."

And the transformation hadn't been just physical. Jack had been the pampered son of a rich step-father for the first week, and then almost overnight had become...sweet. He was different now than he had been for so much of the time Rachel had known him. He was soft-spoken, polite, considerate, compassionate, really hard working, understanding, relaxed, easy going. He was picking up on the native language really fast, and enjoying the people. Jack Hunter, the spoiled little rich kid, who had only signed up for the Peace Corps so his dad would bribe him into not joining, was living in a lizard infested shack with no running water, and no air conditioning. And he was happy. Really, truly happy.

Rachel had known she would fall for Jack again at some point during their time in Nigeria. She still cared about him as a friend and he was going to be the only familiar face in a foreign country, in a area so isolated that they had nearly no contact with the world outside the village. No telephone. No internet. After 4 months here they hadn't even received a delivery of mail yet.

In the beginning she had told herself that she didn't want to end up with Jack again, and she would have to be careful of anything that might bring them back together. But after a few weeks there had been a couple long frustrating days and finally a tearful, lonely, night and then the morning after.

And they had been happy since. All the complications that had conspired to split them up back in Philadelphia were gone now. In a simpler place, living simpler lives, they were happy together.

"Uh- oh, Rach," Jack brushed a calloused hand across her cheek, "Sorry, big bug," he grinned at her, "You should see how freckly you've gotten."

"Oh, shut up," she smiled back.

"What's that?" he asked pointing behind her.

She turned to see what had caught his attention and saw the dust trail. There was a big van zooming toward the village. Rachel noticed that a few other people were staring at the distant vehicle and then unexpectedly 9 or 10 of the volunteers, the ones that had been in Nigeria longer than they had, starting whooping and shouting with what could only be called joy. Sandra and Collin, who had joined together and had been here for a little over a year grabbed hands and did a little jig.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked them.

"Mail Call!" They answered. This caught everyone's attention. People abandoned their bowls at the tables and ran for the village square (where the van was sure to stop) like little kids who had heard the ice cream truck coming around the corner.

"Come on!" Jack yelled grabbing Rachel's hand and pulling her after him.

All the volunteers arrived at the square, breathless, a few minutes before the van got there and stared at it whispering in anticipation.

"Oh, I can't wait to hear from Angela and Topanga," Rachel squealed, "I'm sure Topanga and Cory are having such a good time in New York, and Angela's probably gotten Shawn to come out to visit her by now, she told me she was going to beg her dad to help her pay for his ticket."

"You'll have to read me their letters. You know there's no way Shawn or Eric wrote," Jack told her, but he sounded more giddy than disappointed.

"I'm sure Shawn wrote," Rachel assured him, "And he'll know that Eric won't write, so he'll probably tell you everything he's been up to."

The van pulled up and the drivers hopped out and ran around to the big doors in back. They hauled out a big box overflowing with letters and started calling out names. Everyone got the rest of the day off. Mail call was pretty much accepted as a holiday and the volunteers only had until tomorrow afternoon when the van was carrying letters back.

Jack and Rachel scurried back to Rachel's to go through their mail together. Topanga and Angela had each sent Rachel a handful of letters, some of them rather thick. Her mother had sent her a package. Shawn had sent Jack a few letters and Eric had sent a couple letters and a handful of postcards.

"Rach, look at this," Jack handed her Eric's post cards.

"Greetings from Asunción?" Rachel read, puzzled, "Greetings from Villarríca? Thinking of You in San Juan Bautista?" she laughed and handed them back.

Jack flipped one of the cards over and started to read,

_Hey Jack and Rachel, or should I say "Hola Yak y Raquel". I'm in Paraguay! How awesome is that?_

Rachel laughed, "Sounds like Eric. What the hell is he doing in Paraguay?"

_It's a long story, I'll write you guys a letter later, but right now Nebula and I are going on a tour of colonial buildings or something. Later, or Mas Tarde, Eric. _

Jack looked up, "Who's Nebula?"

"We didn't know a Nebula did we?"

They settled onto Rachel's bed. Jack handed Rachel his pen knife and she ripped into the package letting out a nearly orgasmic groan when she saw what was in it.

"Skittles!" She yelled, "Potato chips, M&M's, fruit snacks, Doritos, oh and please tell me she remembered," Rachel whispered digging through the bags of goodies, "Yes! Oreos!"

"Oh, man... I'm writing Shawn back and demanding a package!" Jack exclaimed.

Rachel dove into the Oreos, piled everything back into the box and tucked it under her bed with a vow to ration it out so that it would last until the next delivery of mail. She handed Jack a stack of Oreos and he ripped open the letter Eric had addressed to both of them and read it aloud as Rachel sorted her letters from Angela and Topanga into order by postmark.

_Hey Jack and Rachel_

_Hope you got the postcards. I haven't gotten anything you might have sent (though I bet you've been too busy with Peace Corps stuff) Nebula and I are in a different city pretty much every couple days. She is the most amazing girl I have ever met. She's an artist, she speaks 5 languages, she's been to, like, all of Europe, and she has this incredible free spirit. Like she isn't afraid of anything. Yesterday we hopped a train to get from San Pedro to Concepción. Literally hopped the train. We hid out on the back of the freezer car and once we were out in the country she climbed up the little ladder and sat on the top of the train! She's so incredible. It's hard to believe she's Topanga's sister. No offence to Topanga she's just, you know, quieter. _

"I didn't know Topanga had a sister," Rachel exclaimed, "She never mentioned her."

_Well, apparently not as quiet anymore. I don't know if you know about the whole thing Cory-Topanga thing, and I'm not sure if I'm the one to tell you. Not that it was much of a surprise. _

"What do you suppose that means?" Rachel asked.

"Dunno," Jack replied, "Pregnant?"

Rachel shrugged.

_Anyway, Paraguay is amazing. It's beautiful here all the time and we've been to some of the neatest places. Nebula is a photographer, she's working on a coffee table book. She got the guy commissioning her to hire me as her assistant. Right now I'm in charge of carrying the film,_

"Oh no," Jack sighed, "You know that no good can come from that."

_but she's teaching me to speak Spanish and how to use her camera. I'm currently fluent enough to get us lunch when she's working on her pictures. It's way more exciting than it sounds. Like I said we're in a different town every couple days, and Nebula is one of those people who is always up for an adventure, and we've had a few. We slept in an abandoned house that turned out to be haunted, we nearly got killed in a bar-fight, we jumped off a cliff into a lake, we went hang-gliding. I'm having the best time of my life. _

_I'm gonna wrap this letter up here, I'm running out of sunlight. We're hitchhiking to Pedro Juan Caballero and we didn't quite make it today, so we're sleeping outside in this little wooded area tonight. I'll send this once we hit a town. _

_Later, Eric_

_P.S. If you want to send me anything, just send it to my parents house. I'll get it eventually._

"Wow," Rachel said, "Good for Eric."

"Yeah. Sounds like he's really into this Nebula girl," Jack said. The two of them made themselves comfortable and started working their way through their separate letters. Rachel twisted an Oreo apart and started licking the frosting off the top as she read Angela's first letter. Jack settle back with Shawn's first letter.

_Hey Jack,_

_I hope everything is going well for you in Nigeria. I checked the Peace Corps website earlier today and found out that you might not get this letter for a while and there is really no way to tell when your letters will reach us. In case you don't finish this letter, I'll put everything you need to know at the beginning. _

_Eric moved to Paraguay with Topanga's older sister Nebula. He sold his car, emptied out his bank accounts and just took off. He called when we were at the Matthew's house a couple of days ago. He sounds really happy. I think he's fallen pretty hard for Nebula. Also I'm going to try to sublet the apartment, then at least when you or Eric come back the place is available. _

_I've been trying to put this next part into words for the last week and a half. I never wanted to tell you in a letter, but I figured that Rachel would probably hear from Topanga or Angela and tell you and I'd rather you hear it from me so here it goes. _

_Cory and I are a couple. We're in love. We're together._

It was a weirdly appropriate moment for Rachel to gasp and look up from her own letter.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked her. She looked quickly from him to the letter on her knees, "Umm... Angela just... has a way with words, that's all," she went back to her letter quickly.

"Words about Shawn and Cory being.. well, apparently more than friends?" Jack asked.

"Yeah!" Rachel said, relieved he'd been told too. Angela's letter had mentioned that Jack didn't know and Rachel wasn't sure if it was her place to say anything.

Jack read the beginning of his letter aloud to Rachel and then continued from where he'd stopped.

_The Matthews are paying the rent for the apartment while Cory and I try to find our own place and jobs to pay for it. My work-study job isn't available over the summer and since Topanga was the breadwinner in the Matthew's-Lawrence home, Cory is at square one. Plus he and Topanga didn't have a pre-nup and now that she's surrounded by lawyers he's completely terrified that she's going to try to take him for all he's worth. Even though that appears to be approximately $20.36. He really needs a job. _

_I'm sorry I never told you, Jack and I'm sorry I can't see how you're taking the news. I'm going to keep writing to you though. And I'm going to hope that you'll write back because I really need a brother Jack. _

_I also need a favor. I don't have a way to contact Angela. She called me from Europe and dumped me out of the blue. She knew I was bisexual and I think she suspected there was more I wasn't telling her. And I'm sure Topanga has told her by now if she didn't' already know. I wrote Angela an apology and stuck it in this envelope. Could you please, please, please get Rachel to send it to Angela if she can? I really have to know that I at least tried to get this letter to Angela. _

_I hope I'll hear from you, and that you can forgive me,_

_Shawn_

Rachel ripped open Topanga's first letter and read it to Jack. It took a couple of hours for them to read all of their letters to each other. Rachel almost felt a little guilty. This was more entertainment than they had had in a while. There was no TV out here and the radio was pretty erratic and only picked up news stations in French. This was like their own private soap opera.

Several of the letters had included pictures, which were in a heap between Rachel and Jack. It was weird to see them all laying together. A mix of pictures from Philadelphia, New York, Paraguay and Paris all in a pile on a bed in Nigeria.

A picture of Cory and Shawn holding hands in their new apartment laid right almost on top of a picture of Topanga holding a margarita, with big curly hair and dressed like a hippie, standing between a handsome blonde guy kissing her on the cheek and an Asian girl with purple hair doing bunny ear's behind Topanga's head. The back read, "Me, my "love-interest" Stewart and my new roommate Butterfly, at mine and Butterfly's moving in party". Next to that was a picture of Eric and Nebula. They were kissing as they leaned against a tree, looking scruffy and a little dirty. You could tell Eric was holding the camera out to take it. The left corner of the picture was blocked by his thumb. Overlapping that was a picture of Angela at the top of the Eiffel Tower with a few other people. The back read "Me and the gang".

"Wow," Rachel said, "I feel like we missed an exciting couple of months. Topanga sleeps with a friend from middle school and then finds out that Cory is leaving her for Shawn."

"Eric runs off to Paraguay with Topanga's sister, falls in love with her and is following her to New Zealand in a few months," Jack replied.

"Angela is zipping around the Paris social scene," Rachel added.

"Cory turned out to be a talented sculptor, declared and art major and is now turning out pieces for upscale museums," Jack said, "At a pretty penny too according to Shawn. And right now they're only made out of coconuts. He's planning on moving up to stone."

"Topanga went from, as much as I love her, uptight married and boring, to a girl who can have a good time, whose having a casual relationship with this Stewart guy and instead of this whole high powered corporate lawyer thing she had going on, now she's going into environmental law. She's making sure dolphins aren't getting caught in tuna nets and that companies aren't making the hole in the ozone layer worse."

"And Shawn is writing a novel."

"Van is taking letters back tomorrow afternoon," Rachel said, "What are we going to write back about?"

"Well, about building the school, learning to be teachers. I'm probably going to do a little bragging to Eric about the beautiful, wonderful, talented woman I fell in love with," Jack kissed her, "And then I'll probably tell them that story about me waking up with the biggest lizard in the whole entire on my face."

"It wasn't that big a lizard," Rachel teased.

"Hey, it was Godzilla. If we were in Japan people would've been running through the streets in panic."

Rachel laughed, "I'll probably write about the same things for Angela and Topanga. And send Shawn's apology to Angela. Do you think we should tell Topanga about what Cory and Shawn or up to? Or them what she's up to for that matter?"

"I don't know. I got the impression from Shawn and Topanga that they aren't out of touch. It's nice the divorce went so smoothly," Jack answered.

"We should probably write Cory a letter. That would be nice," Rachel said.

"Okay, sure. And I'm going to demand those little bastards send me some candy too."

Rachel laughed and pulled her package back out from under her bed.

"It's so weird," Jack said.

"What is?" She asked pulling out the M&M's and pouring some out on the bed next to the pictures.

"Well, we all go to the same college, do the same things, hang out with the same people and look how differently our lives turned out," Jack said, waving a hand over the pictures.

Rachel popped a green M&M in her mouth, "Actually," She said thoughtfully, "We all turned out the same when you think about it."

Jack grabbed a couple of M&M's off the bed, "What do you mean?"

Rachel grabbed the hand that wasn't full of candy and squeezed it gently.

"We're all happy."


	11. Special Features

_This chapter is a collection of the alternate chapters that accumulated while I was writing "A Whole New World" that didn't quite make the cut, but I thought you folks might be interested in reading for fun. This is sort of a fanfiction version of DVD extra's. _

_1. Alternate Chapter 1- "A Whole New World" actually started out as a continuation of "My Shadow Is The Only One That Walked Beside Me" and then sort of took on a life of it's own. This was how the first draft of chapter 1 started, back when it was chapter two to another story. _

Shawn had cried until his coffee was cold, offered up a silent prayer of thanks that he had the apartment to himself today with Eric visiting Timmy and Jack visiting his step mom, and went out to the main room to pour his cold coffee down the sink, pour himself another cup, and probably end up crying through that one too.

Shawn sighed as the coffee gurgled down the sink, then washed his face in cold water and took deep breaths as he wiped it dry.

"Morning Shawn."

Shawn jumped at the unexpected sound of Eric's voice.

"Sorry to scare you " Eric laughed.

"Oh," Said Shawn, feigning nonchalance as he turned, "Don't worry about it. I just wasn't expecting you back until tommorow" Eric was in his pajamas. When had he gotten home?

"Yeah, well," Eric sighed sadly "It turns out that Timmy's new parents weren't that keen on me staying. So I came back. Can you hand me a mug?"

"Sure" Shawn pulled down a mug from the cupboard and handed it to Eric with a small sniff.

"You okay man?" Eric asked giving him a sidelong look as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Oh, yeah. No, I just, you know, got a little cold," Shawn replied. God, that Timmy kid had normal'd Eric out. It hadn't been that long ago he wouldn't have noticed a winged purple rhinocerous square-dancing in the living room, let alone a small sniff.

"Really, Cause you look like you've been crying." Eric said, giving Shawn another look that made him uncomfortable.

"Me? Crying? No. I just got a lash in my eye and then I" But the few tears he hadn't already cried welled up and he stopped. "Look, I had a shitty night, and a shitty morning, and I really don't want to talk about it, Eric" Shawn wiped his cheek with the back of his hand " So just leave me alone for a while okay?"

"I'm sorry about Cory, Shawn. I really am."

Shawn's head snapped up but common sense and the practice of years made him bite back what he had been about to say, and instead forced himself to choke out "Hey, he's your brother, I sorry for you too. This isn't going to be easy for any of us"

"Shawn," Eric said soberly "I know."

Ice slipped down Shawn's back. Then he reminded himself that however much Eric had changed in the last few months, he was still Eric. This had to be just some Eric-esq non sequiter._ I know you're hiding a puppy,_ _I know you're stealing my lightbulbs, I know you're actually Canadian._

"About what?" Shawn asked, trying to scratch his stomach calmly, knowing it wouldn't stop the snakes writhing inside.

Eric looked down at his coffee, bit his lip, set the cup on the counter and repeated "I know." Shawn didn't say a word as Eric walked from the kitchen to the living room and turned to face him. "I know about you and Cory. I know you're... together" He shrugged, "I walked in on you two kissing last night Shawn."

Shawn's breath caught in his throat."What?" He faked a laugh, "No, no no, you've got this all wrong. Cory and I weren't kissing, Cory's married, Eric."

"Shawn," Eric said sounding exhasperated, "I shared a room with Cory until I shared an apartment with you. I've been walking in on you two making out since you were 15. I heard you last night. Which by the way is not something a person's brother needs to hear. I've heard Cory talk about you in his sleep. Also something I could have lived without,"

Shawn tried to remember any door's creaking through the years, any beam of light into a dark room, anything.

"You know?" He asked.

"Yeah. What have I just been saying?"

"Who else knows?" Shawn demanded

_2. This is another version of Chapter 1 where Eric is less serious and more... Ericy_

"I'm sorry about Cory, Shawn. I really am."

Shawn's head snapped up but common sense and the practice of years made him bite back what he had been about to say, and instead forced himself to choke out "Hey, he's your brother, I sorry for you too. This isn't going to be easy for any of us"

"Shawn, we are going to figure something out to keep him here," Eric said forcefully.

"Eric, I'm not in the mood for one of your crazy schemes alright," Shawn sighed.

"It's not a crazy scheme! Come on! You can get him to stay here!"

Eric suddenly became very serious, he leaned across the kitchen island and said quietly "You're just going to let Topanga drag the love of your life to New York where he's going to be miserable?"

Shawn's breath caught, his heart jumped into his throat "What are you talking about?" Shawn asked trying to stay calm. He reminded himself that however much Eric had changed in the last few months, he was still Eric. He would say something crazy at any moment and prove that he couldn't possibly know what it sounded like he knew.

"I know about you and Cory. I know you're... together" He shrugged, "I walked in on you two kissing last night Shawn."

"What?" He faked a laugh, "Cory and I weren't kissing. We're straight Eric. Cory's married!"

"Shawn," Eric said sounding exhasperated, "I shared a room with Cory until I shared and apartment with you. I've been walking in on you two making out since you were 15, I heard you last night. Which, by the way, is not something a person's brother needs to hear," Eric gave a little shudder and took a drink of his coffee.

Shawn tried to remember any doors creaking through the years, any beam of light into a dark room, anything. He thought they had been so careful!

"You know?" He asked.

"Yeah. What have I just been saying?"

"Does anyone else know?" Shawn demanded.

"I didn't tell anyone but I'm pretty sure my mom knows,"

"What?"

"Yeah. She saw you two kissing in mine and Cory's room one time and asked if I thought anything was going on. I think she convinced herself that it it was just.. experimenting, I mean, you always had a couple girlfriends and Cory always had Topanga. Though I think that may be one of the reasons she really wanted Topanga to go to Yale instead of marrying Cory. But everyone suspects," Eric said, saying the last sentence as though it was good news.

So, there it was. Out in the light. Everyone suspected and Eric and Mrs. Matthews knew.

"Thanks for not telling anyone."

"Oh, wait, I told Jack." Eric said.

So Shawn's entire family knew and half of Cory's did.

"Did you tell anyone else my deepeest darkest secret before you told me that you knew it?" Shawn growled.

"Rachel. I definetly wanted you out of the running with her," Eric's grin withered in Shawn's glare.

"Great! That's just Great," Shawn gasped.

_3. This is yet another version of chapter 1, that got ridiculously angsty way to fast and thus was chucked out almost immediately_

Shawn had cried until his coffee was cold, offered up a silent prayer of thanks that he had the apartment to himself today with Eric visiting Tommy and Jack visiting his step mom, and went out to the main room to pour his cold coffee down the sink, pour himself another cup, and probably end up crying through that one too.

Shawn sighed as the coffee gurgled down the sink, then washed his face in cold water and took deep breaths as he wiped it dry.

"Morning Shawn."

Shawn jumped at the unexpected sound of Eric's voice.

"Sorry to scare you " Eric laughed.

"Oh," Said Shawn, feigning nonchalance as he turned, "Don't worry about it. I just wasn't expecting you back until tommorow." Eric was in his pajamas. When had he gotten home?

"Yeah, well," Eric sighed sadly, "I decided to come back early," He coughed and rubbed his face "Could you grab me a mug?"

"Sure" Shawn pulled down a mug from the cupboard and handed it to Eric with a small sniff.

"You okay man?" Eric asked, giving him a sidelong look as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Oh, yeah, no, I just, you know, got a little cold," Shawn replied. God, that Tommy kid had normal'd Eric out. It hadn't been that long ago he wouldn't have noticed a winged purple rhinocerous square-dancing in the living room, let alone a small sniff.

"Really? Cause you look like you've been crying." Eric said, giving Shawn another look that made him uncomfortable.

"Me? Crying? No. I just got a lash in my eye and then I" He started to invent, but the few tears he hadn't already cried welled up and he stopped. "Look, I had a shitty night, and a shitty morning, and I really don't want to talk about it, Eric" Shawn wiped his cheek with the back of his hand "So just leave me alone for a while okay?"

"I'm sorry about Cory, Shawn. I really am."

Shawn's head snapped up but common sense and the practice of years made him bite back what he had been about to say, and instead forced himself to choke out "Hey, he's your brother, I'm sorry for you too. This isn't going to be easy for any of us"

"Shawn, You can't let him leave," Eric breathed.

"Yeah, I'll just call him and tell him he can't go," Shawn laughed, but it was just an exhalation, completely mirthless.

Eric suddenly became very serious, he leaned across the kitchen island and said quietly "Your just going to let the love of your life go off to New York?"

"What?" Shawn demanded.

"Shawn, I shared a room with Cory and now I share an apartment with you. I've seen you together," Eric shrugged.

"What?"

"I've walked in on you two making out, fooling around, I swear I've seen you naked as many times as Cory has."

"Oh my God!" Shawn gasped, "Oh my God!"

"Yeah, trust me that is something I could have lived without," Eric sipped his coffee, "You know, in retrospect I should have started knocking."

"Oh my God. I can't believe you know! We were so careful!"

"Shawn, if you had acutally been that careful I wouldn't know you have a birthmark on your-"

"Not the time Eric!" Shawn said lowering his head onto the kitchen island.

"The point is that you can't let Topanga drag Cory to New York," Eric said soberly.

Shawn's head snapped off the counter, "There's nothing I can do Eric!" He shrieked, "This is all my fault! I forced Topanga on him! I'm the reason they went out in the first place, I'm the reason they always got back together! I thought we could be normal! I thought we could be happy. I thought that I could find a girl that would make me feel the way he made me feel, I thought Topanga could replace me for him I thought-" Shawn stopped suddenly when he tasted the tears in his mouth and heard his screaming echoed back to him, " I can't believe I'm talking to you about this."

"Oh come on, Shawn. I'm heterosexual man of the new milenium. I am secure enough in my masculinity to not be threatened by your homosexuality," Eric said proudly.

"Bisexuality" Shawn groaned.

"Wait, so you're actually turned on by all those hot chicks you date and you're still screwing my brother? Loudly? When people who pay rent here are trying to sleep?"

"Shut up, Eric"

"Sorry. Look I don't want Cory to leave anymore than you do. This stupid New York thing is changing everything! Not only are Cory and Topanga leaving, Jack and Rachel are talking about joining the peace core," Eric said seriously.

Shawn's eyes welled with tears again, "It's too late now. He's married. I spent days convincing Angela's father that we should be together, and days making out with her when we did get back together. It's gone to far. Maybe back in highschool when we would have just upset our parents, but now, now we're going to break hearts, ruin lives."

Eric grabbed Shawn by the shoulders and shook him "Hey, Hey, Hey. Don't be so negative. We'll think of something!"

Shawn pushed him off "I don't want to be part of your crazy schemes Eric."

"Right. Right. I heard you and Cory talking. What kind of scheme have you two got? Cory is going to go back and forth between Philidelphia and New York when he can't afford it and will never see his wife? Topanga isn't going to be suspicious when she finds out from Mom and Dad that no one knew where Cory stayed when he was in town because he wasn't at home and he wasn't here, becauase you two were off in the most secluded spot you could find?"

"I'm going to New York." Shawn snarled.

"And how are you going to explain that to Angela? If you dump Angela to follow Cory, how long is it going to be before everyone figures it out?"

"SHUT UP!" Shawn yelled, shoving Eric away from him, "JUST SHUT UP! What do you know Eric? You've never been in love, you've never felt this kind of pain!" Shawn clutched wildly at his shirt.

Eric was maddeningly calm "Shawn, I'm back early because I never went to California to visit Tommy. I really thought I could be his father, Adopting him is the only thing in my life that I ever really really needed to do. I loved him like a son, " his voice was eerily monotonous "but I hit Chicago and realized that if I drove all the way out to California, I might ruin his life. So I have to let him hate me as the guy who didn't want him after all," Eric drew in a reedy breath, and Shawn realized that Eric was crying now too, "Because it's what best. And it's killing me," he paused and his face worked as he took a couple sharp breaths, "and I think you feel the same way. And I guess I feel like I need to help you, because maybe it'll help me. Like helping to ease your pain, will help ease mine."

"What about Topanga and Angela's pain?" Shawn demanded, "What about Alan and Amy? Or Jack?"

_4. When the three previous chapters were not making the cut I decided that I should give it another shot from Cory's perspective... which didn't work either. _

Cory had gotten back to his and Topanga's apartment before the sun had risen and cried through a long shower swearing to get himself together before Topanga got back in the afternoon. He had known that telling Shawn would be hard, but he hadn't expected it to be that hard. He thought he had actually felt his heart break in his chest when he had told Shawn that he was leaving in three days and Shawn had looked at him like that.

The water was running cold when Cory finally gave up on his shower. He stepped out into the steam, wrapped one of Topanga's thick purple towels around his waist and walked into his and Topanga's room. The sunlight lit up the bright floral bedspread and turquoise walls to an almost blinding intensity. Cory dried himself off, threw the towel on the floor, put on a navy sweater and jeans and started to mess up the sheets on the perfectly made bed. Topanga hated the fact that he never made the bed. Then he went out to the kitchen, dirtied a few dishes and put them in the sink before spreading a few popcorn crumbs in front of the cushion on the couch he usually sat in.

_5. So after that I gave up completely on the sequel/continuation idea and started the story as it's own story and ended up with this as a chapter one. After this I thought "what the hell, I might as well try it from Topanga's POV and see what happens" and that became what was originally going to be chapter two, but ended up being split and made into chapters 1 and 3. _

"Hey Cory, I brought you a sandwich," Amy said walking into her son's old room where he sat between two messy piles of his own stuff going through the bigger pile and occasionally adding something to the smaller pile. She held the plate out to him.

"Thanks mom," He said gratefully taking a sandwhich half off the plate and taking a big bite out of it. Amy set the plate next to him and sat on the corner of his bed looking around at the room.

"I swear it was only yesterday that you and shawn were up here looking through baseball cards and reading comic books," She sighed heavily. Cory just nodded, his mouth was full and he'd been trying so hard not to think the same thing.

"And now you're married, moving to New York," Amy sighed, "It seems so strange,"

Cory really didn't want to talk about it. He wished people would stop bringing it up. Feeny kept asking him what he was going to study at NYU, his father had been calling him "city boy" since he heard, his mother had been doing variations of "oh it was only yesterday". Even Eric was asking him about it at least once a day. Although at least Eric didn't take it for granted that Cory was thrilled about leaving Philidelphia behind. And Shawn... Shawn couldn't bear to talk about it.

"Yeah," Cory replied, "It does seem strange."

"Do you need any help packing?" Amy asked.

"No, thanks mom. I'm doing fine by myself," Cory asked, trying to politely convey to his mother that he wanted to be left alone.

She ignored him and started going through the smaller pile, his "bring to New York" pile. Before he could stop her she pulled out a carefully folded blanket from the bottom.

"That's where this went!" Amy exclaimed unfolding it, "I made this when I was pregnant with you!" She held it up revealing a couple mangled stitchlines and some sporadic holes, she laughed "Knitting was never really my thing."

Cory very carefully didn't grab for it. Amy sighed again, stood up to fold the blanket and set it by the "going to new york" pile.

"Did you decide what your doing tonight?"

"Yeah, Shawn and I are hanging out at his apartment," Cory said.

"Okay," Amy tried to ruffle his hair, which as usual remained unruffled.

When the door shut Cory took the blanket and carefully folded it the right way, burying his face in it and taking a deep breath. It didn't smell like Shawn any more. It probably hadn't for a while, but the act reminded him of all the times when it had. When he and Shawn had spread it out in the tree house, or in the park or when he and shawn wrapped up in it and fell aleep and Shawn washed it at his house and it still smelled like him when he gave it back to Cory. He hadn't known his mom had made it. Well, at least now he had an excuse to bring it.

He wanted to bring as much of Philidelphia with him as he possibly could.

_6. This was originally going to be chapter 2, but it just didn't supply the history I wanted in the way I wanted._

It had worked out perfectly Shawn thought. He and Cory were going to have the whole apartment to themselves. Eric was driving Jack and Rachel to the Boston airport to catch thier flight to Africa and a new life in the peacecorps. Eric had decided to stay in a hotel instead of driving the whole way there and then the whole way back. Angela was in Europe, Topanga was in New York. For the first time ever they were garunteed a risk-free night.

Shawn looked around the empty apartment, unsure of what to do.

Part of him wanted to go all out. He wanted Cory to walk in to see a million candles softly illuminating a million red roses. A perfectly cooked exotic meal. Dark chocolate and silk sheets.

Another part of him wanted to drape black velvet over the windows, smash all the mirrors and lay on the floor in the dark. That seemed more appropriate. Candles and chocolate seemed too romantic, like a honeymoon, like a begginning. But this was the end. After all these years this was really the end.

Shawn had long ago accepted that he couldn't hold on to the people he loved. One after another they had left him. But Cory had promised that he'd never leave. Cory had stood beside him while he watched everyone else leave. Shawn was going to have to stand alone while the only person who had ever kept the promises he made finally broke them.

Unable to decide what mood to set, he hadn't even tried. He hadn't washed the stack of dishes in the sink, or thrown away the pizza box from last night. There were still two stale pieces of pizza slowly rotting inside it. He'd left the whole apartment the way he would've on any other day. He so desperately wanted it to be any other day.

The door creaked open and Cory walked in.

"Hey Shawnie."

"Hey Cor," Shawn answered.

There was an awkwardness in the way Cory walked in at sat down on the couch next to Shawn. Neither knew what to say. "So you're abandoning me" didn't seem right, and neither did "I wish I wasn't leaving."

"So, you get everything packed?" Shawn asked inanely.

"Yeah, pretty much. We just have to haul it all downstairs in the morning. Mom didn't want it sitting in the living room during dinner tommorow,"

"Oh, yeah. You and Topanga's big farewell dinner," Shawn said. His voice was bitter, he couldn't help it. Cory reached his hand out and tryed to curl a lock of Shawn's hair around his finger.

"Yeah," Cory sighed sadly, "Our big farewell dinner." Shawn pressed his cheek into Cory's palm and slid down to sit by him.

"Let's not talk about it," Shawn said with a gravely voice, "Let's not think about it. Let's pretend it's any other night."

"Any other night we'd probably be in the back of your rust heap station wagon," Cory said trying to get Shawn to laugh.

"Or in the park. That was the worst idea you ever had."

"Yeah, Yeah it was. That was a huge dog." Cory laughed.

"Why did we go to the park again?" Shawn said.

"Mom and Dad decided to take down the tree house because they thought no one used it anymore." Cory told him.

"Gosh, the tree house. That seems like forever ago," Shawn sighed.

"Well, we've been together a long time," Cory said with a sad smile. Shawn kissed him.

_6. This is a missing scene from chapter 2, continuing after the last line. It was cut because I decided to bring up the argument later._

Cory and Shawn broke the kiss but didn't let go of eachother. Shawn was staring at him intently like he was waiting for something. Cory kissed him again and Shawn pressed his forehead to Cory's.

"What are we going to do?" he asked hoarsely. Cory ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know. I was thinking we could order chinese, snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie? Take advantage of having the apartment to ourselves for once," Cory said with an infuriating calm.

"Don't Cory," Shawn said gruffly pulling away from Cory "Don't do the thing you do where everything is crumbling around you and you pretend it's all going to be just fine. I know that somehow everything else has worked out, because someone else did something about it, but it isn't going to just work itself out this time. So what are we going to do?"

"There's nothing we can do Shawn. I'm married to Topanga and she's moving to New York. I've got to go with her," Cory said with resignation. Shawn watched him walk across the apartment to the kitchen and grabbed a soda out of the fridge.

"Cory, maybe we should just confess," Shawn said looking down at his shoes, "Just tell everyone. Tell Topanga we've been sneaking around on her for 5 years."

Cory slammed down his soda on the counter, cola shot out of it, "I wanted to confess 5 years ago Shawn!

_7. This was going to be chapter 4, because I wanted to switch back from Topanga's plotline, and then decided that anything I could say about Cory and Shawn and that point would end up being redundant. _

"This whole thing Cory. You and Topanga are moving to New York," Shawn said stressing every word of the last sentence.

"Yeah. We are," Cory's calm was infuriating.

"Cory-" Shawn started again.

"Don't Shawn," Cory barked, "Just stop it. It's too late now okay. Topanga and I are married. Not "going out" anymore. Not engaged anymore. Married. I'm moving to New York with my wife," Cory walked out of the bathroom and Shawn followed back into the bedroom where he started to gather up his clothes.

"Cory, I'm not denying that it's a bad time to do this, but if we dont' now we may never get another chance!"

"Do what Shawn? What do you think we need to do?"

"Confess. Tell Topanga before you ruin her life even more. Tell everyone that we've been sneaking around since we were 15 tell everyone we've been lying for 5 years!"

"Shawn. I love Topanga. Can you imagine what it would do to her to find out her husband has never been faithful to her?"

"Cause he's gay?" Shawn snarled the word Cory would never use.

_8. Alternate Chapter 5, when I again wanted to bring in the fight and didn't. If it's starting to seem as though every chapter originally started with Cory and Shawn fighting, that' s because it did. Shawn and Cory only fought like 3 times in the entire series, so it's always awkward to write, and I have a hard time writing fights because they always sound so melodramatic in my head. Which is why I wrote the fight the way I (eventually) did. _

He'd wanted to say it when Cory knocked on his door last night.

He'd wanted to say it before they fell onto his bed.

He'd wanted to say it when they'd woken up in each other's arms for what might be the last time.

But in the dark last night he couldn't bring himself to mention what was going to happen in the morning and he hadn't wanted to wreck anything about last night because it was _the last night_.

But now, with the warm late morning May sun charging into the tiny bathroom window while he and Cory brushed thier teeth together it had finally truly hit home what was about to happen. He opened his mouth to speak as he reached out and brushed a little bit of soap lather out of Cory's hair that hadn't gotten washed out during thier shower.

"Cor?" Shawn started. Cory grunted, his mouth was still full of toothpaste. Shawn pretended to be readjusting the towel around his waist so he wouldn't see Cory's face when he asked, "What are we going to do?"

Cory spit and rinsed before he answered "We're going to get dressed drive to my house, and eat my mom's lasagna, Shawn."

"Don't Cory," Shawn said , "Don't do the thing you do where everything is crumbling around you and you pretend it's all going to be just fine. It isn't going to just work itself out this time!"

"There's nothing we can do Shawn. I'm married to Topanga and she's moving to New York. I've got to go with her," Cory said with resignation as he wiped his face dry.

"Cory, maybe we should just confess," Shawn said looking at him in the mirror, "Just tell everyone. Tell Topanga we've been sneaking around on her for 5 years."

"It's too late Shawn."

"Cory, we-"

Cory turned around slowly, "No Shawn," he was ridiculously calm, "I'll go to New York, and be with my wife, and you can just wait a year until Angela comes back.That's how everything is going to work out this time."

Shawn bit his lip and looked down at his bare feet

_9. This was another attempt at the chapter 5 version of the fight. _

Cory and Shawn broke the kiss but didn't let go of eachother. Shawn was staring at him intently like he was waiting for something. Cory kissed him again and Shawn pressed his forehead to Cory's.

"What are we going to do?" he asked hoarsely. Cory ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know. I was thinking we could order chinese, snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie? Take advantage of having the apartment to ourselves for once," Cory said with an infuriating calm.

"Don't Cory," Shawn said gruffly pulling away from Cory "Don't do the thing you do where everything is crumbling around you and you pretend it's all going to be just fine. I know that somehow everything else has worked out, because someone else did something about it, but it isn't going to just work itself out this time. So what are we going to do?"

"There's nothing we can do Shawn. I'm married to Topanga and she's moving to New York. I've got to go with her," Cory said with resignation. Shawn watched him walk across the apartment to the kitchen and grabbed a soda out of the fridge.

"Cory, maybe we should just confess," Shawn said looking down at his shoes, "Just tell everyone. Tell Topanga we've been sneaking around on her for 5 years."

Cory slammed down his soda on the counter, cola shot out of it, "I wanted to confess 5 years ago Shawn!

_10. I think I wrote this early on, because in this version Topanga was still at a cousins, and I was going to try and futz with it and make it it's own one shot, but it's just too connected to A Whole New World" now, so I shall put it here. _

"Cor!" Amy called. Her son was upstairs in his room boxing up what possessions he'd left there when he'd moved into the Pennbrooke dorms two years ago. Cory appeared in the stairwell.

"Yeah ma?"

"I'm running a few errands. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Kay."

"Do you know who all is coming to the dinner tonight?"

"Yeah. Eric, Jack, possibly Rachel, Mr. Feeny, and Topanga is coming straight from her cousin's"

"All right. Oh, and then is it spaghetti or lasagna that Shawn hates?"

Cory bit his lip, "I don't think it's going to matter, Mom."

"What?" Amy asked incredulously "Is Shawn not coming?"

"I don't know" Cory said.

"Why not?" Amy demanded.

"He's not taking the news very well" Cory sighed rubbing his hands against his pant legs.

"Poor Shawn" Amy sighed, "Your all he has. Chet, may he rest in peace, was in and out of his life, and now he's been dead almost a year. Jack is going to Nigeria with the Peace Corps. Angela took off for Europe. I don't know what he's going to do without you."

"Shawn hates spaghetti" Cory said doing his best to keep his voice normal and turning to go back upstairs so that he wouldn't have to continue this conversation.

Amy sighed. Cory was going to be the first of her children to actually leave the nest and with him all the other faces she'd grown so used to seeing over the years may be gone too. She shook her head, grabbed her keys and was heading out the back door when Shawn walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Shawn" she said hugging him

"Hi Mrs. Matthews" he said distractedly.

"I really hope you're coming to dinner tonight."

"I can't promise anything"

"I know this is tough on you," Amy said, holding the side of his face the way she would with her own sons, "Well, I'll make lasagna and just hope you're there to eat it."

"Thanks Mrs. Matthews"

She patted his cheek and went out the door.

Shawn stopped to brace himself, he was about to do something he should have done years ago and he was terrified of what would happen when he did. His attempt to calm down was being alternately thwarted by rushes of hope and jabs of fear.

"Hey Shawn. What are you doing here?" Cory asked coming downstairs and grabbing a soda out of the fridge.

"We need to talk," Shawn said sounding so angry he surprised himself. This was just years of everything coming to a head. Cory shrugged and Shawn didn't wait for him to respond.

"How long do you think this is going to last?" he demanded, "How long?"

"Shawn calm down," Cory said quietly

"Tell me how long Cory!" Cory's calm was enraging.

"Let's at least go upstairs" Cory said in the same quiet calming voice, holding his hands in front of him in a placating gesture.

"No!" Shawn yelled, "Tell me how long!"

Amy climbed into her car, threw her purse into the passengers seat and put her keys in the ignition before realizing she'd left her grocery list on the coffee table in the living room. She sighed, got back out of the car and went to retrieve it. As soon as she walked in the front door she heard Shawn screaming "No! Tell me how long!" Cory answered back, starting to sound angry "How long what Shawn?". "How long before you come running back!" Shawn answered.

Amy grabbed the list and dithered for a moment, debating whether she should go mediate the fight before it escalated and things that couldn't be taken back were said, or whether it would be better to let them work it out themselves, they were adults after all.

She had taken two steps toward the kitchen when she heard Shawn continue "When you and Topanga got married, the night of your bachelor party you swore up and down that was the last time you and I would ever make love," Shawn was screaming. Amy sat down suddenly on the couch, Shawn kept screaming "And three weeks later! Three! You were promising me that we could be still be together if we were careful!"

"Shawn, for God's sake keep your voice down!" Cory hissed taking a step toward him. Shawn spun away to the opposite side of the table and slammed his hands down on it.

"No! No Cory I won't keep my voice down! For those three weeks I was dead and you just came waltzing back into my room! Just acting like you could just turn me on and off like you've always done!"

"Hey don't give me that shit, Hunter. You started this whole goddamn thing. You said we couldn't be together first. You turned me away first," Cory wasn't yelling, but every syllable was trilling with a sad sort of anger.

"You don't think that kills me everyday!" Shawn's voice was reverberating with rage " I didn't have a choice! When they thought I was normal no one wanted me! My parents abandoned me more times than I care to count. Do you think they would have come back for me at all if they'd known the truth? Would your parents have taken me in for even as long as they did if they'd known? Would Turner have taken in the troubled gay kid? No one ever wanted me! Was I supposed to make it harder?"

Amy teared up at the hysteria in Shawn's raw voice. The poor kid! How couldn't he know he was practically a son to her and Allen! Did he really think they would've turned him out on the streets?

"I wanted you and you set me up with Topanga!" Cory spit back.

"And you loved her! Never once did you ever think about choosing me over her! You were perfectly happy with your little pretend love affair. You jumped on the guy who kissed her the first time you broke up, you followed her to Florida you married her!"

"You didn't choose to come after me either." Cory was starting to get hysterical too as Amy gave up on her errands and settled back into the couch to eavesdrop "You were too busy steadily working your way through every girl in high school!"

"I don't even remember the names of most of those girls, and if you remember I dumped the bitch who tried to keep me away from you!"

"So what? You never tried to come back to me!"

Shawn and Cory were standing on opposite sides of the kitchen table, both crying, shaking, red in the face with their hands splayed on the table top.

"I tried! when Topanga moved. The sparrow sisters? The whole point of that was to prove to you that you couldn't like another girl with one sister and make you jealous with the other. Do you have any idea what it did to me when I saw Topanga on that couch when I came back?"

"Do you have any idea what it did to me to see you making out with that British girl when Topanga was out of the picture?"

"And there went out last chance in high school," Shawn croaked.

They didn't look at each other. They stood in silence for a very long time, both staring at the empty table between their hands, both haunted by their own regrets, rueing their own days.

Shawn let out a long rattling breath and looked up at Cory, still hunched over the table. He walked around to Cory's side, grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled the curly haired boy's forehead to his own. "Please, please Cor. I'm begging you. Don't go to New York," he rasped in a desperate whisper. A tear from Cory's face fell onto his and he shivered. This was all he could do. What if it wasn't enough to make Cory stay? "Don't leave me."

Cory didn't answer for a painfully long time. Shawn and Amy both held their breath.

"It's too late Shawny. After everything I've put her through. I can't divorce Topanga,"

Shawn took this information like a bullet to the heart, gulped back the first of the many sobs he was going to try not to cry and pushed Cory away. Not angrily, but deliberately, coldly even. Then without a word he walked out of the kitchen, into the living room and closed the door behind him. He saw Amy crying on the couch, nodded to her and walked to the front door. He grabbed the handle and then turned back to face Amy "I'm not going to be able to make it to dinner Mrs. Matthews," He whispered hoarsely, "Thanks anyway."

And he left.

Cory stood in the kitchen utterly stunned. So much light had just been shed on the most incomprehensible years of his life he felt like it was going to blind him. So Shawn had always loved him. He'd been wrong all the times he thought he was nursing an unrequited love for his best friend. But he couldn't just... just...

End his sham marriage? Get out of a relationship he wasn't happy in? Stop before he had kids to worry about? Give Topanga her life back? Get out of moving to New York when he desperately didn't want to?

What had he just done?

He ran into the living room and out the front door into the yard to see that the beat up station wagon Shawn drove was already to far down the street to run after.

"Cory!" his mother called running outside after him. He jumped. He hadn't seen her and didn't know she'd over heard the entire conversation.

"Mom!" He exclaimed "Give me your keys!"

"What happened- where-"

"There's no time. I'm in love with Shawn, I'm not going to new York and I need the damn keys!"

She handed them over and Cory ran for the car. As he zoomed down the street after Shawn Eric pulled into the driveway.

"Hey Mom. How's it going?"

"I just found out that Cory and Shawn have been in love for years" Amy told her oldest son.

"Well duh. That surprises you?" Eric asked skeptically.

"No. Not really," She admitted.

_I hope you enjoyed the "Special Features" Chapter to A Whole New World and that you check out some of my other stories_

_Love, _

_oncethrown_


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